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Post by FCPW President Mac Dunney on Apr 12, 2021 14:49:57 GMT
All roleplays for this match to be posted here. Maximum three roleplays per writer, no minimum or maximum word count.
Roleplays are due by 11:59:59pm on April 23!
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Post by JonnyFNC on Apr 13, 2021 14:22:08 GMT
The theme song for the Joe Rogan experience is playing. Jonny C is sitting across the table from the pod father himself Joe Rogan.
Joe - Welcome everyone back a very special episode of the Joe Rogan Experience. On today's show we have First Class Pro Wrestling superstar Infamous Jonny C. Welcome to the show Jonny thanks so much for being here.
Jonny - The pleasure is all mine Joe. I'm a huge fan and honored to be here.
Joe - Let's get right into shall we. You have a triple threat for the Canadian Championship coming up at April Annihilation vs Dank Sinatra and the Champion John Cavanagh. But first you had to team with Dank and take on 2 men from John's faction his brother Chris "Trigger" Cavanagh and Andy Donahue and a few other hurdles am I correct?
Jonny - Yes Joe that's all correct but it goes way deeper than that. This all started about 6-8 weeks ago when I won a battle Royal to challenge Cav in a one on one match for the title.
Joe - So you already fought Jon then. I would assume you lost that match because he is still the champion and your not sitting here with the title.
Jonny - You see it's very complicated Joe. I did lose the match and failed to capture the title but Jon didn't beat me.
Joe - What do you mean Jonny?
Jonny - Trigger saw me getting close to winning so he jumped into the ring when I wasn't looking and caught me in the jaw with brass knuckles.
Joe - What a cowardly move. He attacked you from behind and cost you the title.
Jonny - A true cowards move indeed. That's what Cavanaghs so called Celtic crew are a bunch of cowards. Or as I call them The Celtic Cunts.
Joe - Wow I mean it does seem like a fitting name. I don't know any of them but if they wait for your back to be turned to attack rather than stand face to face that's a very accurate name. They are indeed cowardly cunts I would say. Man I wish I ordered that PPV it sounds like a wild ride.
Jonny - Wasn't on PPV Joe it was on regular cable for everyone to watch for free with virtually no build at all.
Joe - So First Class gave away a title match on free TV? In all my years of working for UFC we would never give away our world title match for free. We would build to it and make people pay for it because it's a must see bout.
Jonny - That's exactly what I fucking said Joe. It made zero business sense to me.
Joe - Does a child run First Class?
Jonny - Buckle up Joe becasue this is where is gets really interesting. Mac Dunney or as I call him Mac Dummy is the "president" and owner of FCPW. John Cavanagh is the hand picked golden boy who makes alot of the calls behind the scenes.
Joe - A real Hulk Hogan WCW situation then.
Jonny - 100%. So after I got jumped on free TV and the match was stolen from me I assumed I would be booked into some kind of grudge match in a cage for the title to insure no one would be involved.
Joe - Yes build to a bigger match that makes perfect sense to me.
Jonny - That's not what happened. Cavanagh pulled some of his strings and got me booked in a mid card throw away match against some asshole who doesn't even work here anymore.
Joe - How do you not get an immediate rematch when you get screwed out of the title. Dummy is a good last name for the owner. That's the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. In all my years of being a show promoter I would never allow such bullshit to take place.
Jonny - I would also not allow it Joe. But Cavanagh knew I was going to beat him. He knew deep down that I was the better man and with out a run in he stood no chance so he sucked the owners dick to completion and tried to bury me in the mid card.
Joe - WHOA Jonny those are some wild accusations to be throwing around if you don't have any real evidence. That could land you in court brother.
Jonny - I don't give a fuck Joe. I want what's mine. I got screwed and Cavanagh found a way to try and keep me away from him. It was bullshit from day one and I immediately called him on it.
Joe - So after your match with Balde Alexander you got to go right back into the title picture.
Jonny - Nope Joe they paired me with my friend Jay and signed us up for a tag team tournament. So not only did Cavanagh duck my rematch he made it so I would be placed in a tag team and taken completely out of his division. The only upside was that in order to allegedly gain some momentum for the tag title tournament I got to face Chris Cavanagh one on one.
Joe - That's John's brother. The guy who sucker punched you costing you the title and the win over John.
Jonny - The same Joe.
Joe - I would imagine you got him back and made him wish he never messed with you.
Jonny - Here Joe watch these. It's my promos leading up to the match with Trigger than the match it's self. It's some damn fine work if I much say so myself.
Jonny slides a tablet over to Joe. Joe grabs it leans back in his chair and pressed play watches what Jonny had cued up.
Joe - Holy shit man you came unglued for that. You really layed into him. Then after all that tough talk he tried to cheat again but seeing as he blindsided you once before you where ready.
Jonny - I did lose my shit Joe. Watching this fed and my main event spot crash and burn like planes broke me Joe. They where trying to bury me and hold me down. No one was going to look out for me but myself so I fucking snapped and started calling it like I see it. I don't care who the fuck I piss off anymore becasue they where already holding me down what else could they have done. I got to admit though it feels really good to let it all out and be unfiltered.
Joe - You're right Jonny they where messing with you and trying to bury you as it was, so fuck them you took matters into your own hands.
Jonny - Exactly Joe sometimes you need to bet on yourself. No one else was going to help me, not that I need it anyway.
Joe - I can't believe he tried to cheat and you still managed to win.
Jonny - I know his game plan Joe. When he realizes he is fucked and can't win on his own he looks for a way to cheat. I knew it was coming and this time I was ready for it. But notice I tucked the knuckles away untill after I won. I didn't need a weapon to win the match. But you can bet your ass I used them after the match. I had alot of pent up rage to unload on him.
Joe - Oh yeah he is definitely still feeling that shot today.
Jonny - I know for a fact that he is Joe.
Joe - OK so after you took down Trigg once they threw a partner at you in Dank Sinatra who you will be facing in a triple threat now and had you face Trig again and Andy Donahue.
Jonny - Yup that's exactly what they did. It's all good though because unlike John Cavanagh I'm a fighter. I'm the best wrestler to ever step into a wrestling ring. Some people call me the face of pro wrestling. I have no issues fighting on every single show we have. Notice who isn't on the card Joe?
Joe - John Cavanagh is not on the show.
Jonny - Funny how that works. Mac and John knew I wouldn't play well with Dank they also wanted to throw there 2 asshole assassins at me to take me out. But I'm like Elton John bitch I'm still standing. John took a nice relaxing week off to rest and train for his upcoming title lose. He is clearly scared of me and what I am going to do in that ring Joe. He knows I'm not playing games anymore. Him and Mac have tried to hold me down long enough. This title match should have happened a fucking month ago and should have been a singles match.
Joe - I have to say I agree Jonny. You got jumped to lose the first title match. That wasn't fair to you. But they decided to just move you down the card instead of a rematch. To me is would appear they are really bad a business or they wanted you out of the title picture.
Jonny - Oh its definitely both of those things. It's clear as day that Mac has absolutely no idea how to run a wrestling company. He employs the bottom of the barrel talent and gives them way to many chances. Mac has people no show or barely show every fucking show. What kind of business plan is that. What do I know though I have only been doing this for my whole adult life.
Joe - Definitely not the best way to run a show if you ask me.
Jonny - Not even a little bit. You're right Joe they don't want me in the title scene. They did everything they could to hold me down. Let some asshole run in and barely show and get the main event spot even though I got screwed. I get it though, John knows he can't beat me. He was seconds away from losing to me and that title. He knows in a legit match and stright up he just can't beat me. He isn't man enough to get the job done. I called him out on being a little bitch last time and he showed the world I was right. He doesn't seem to get it though. He doesn't get that his time is over and my time is now. He is trying to hold on to his glory days even though they have clearly passed him by.
Joe - OK so the tag match match was the other night. It didn't really go as planned for you.
Jonny - The ending clearly didn't my way because that hemp head blind tagged his way into the match. I had it right where I wanted and would have taken home the win alone like I said I would. I did exactly what I said I was the one standing tall at the end of the show. Win or lose I accomplished taking down the celtic cunts.
Joe - You definitely did some damage with that chair.
Jonny - The cunts like to play dirty and I happily obliged them. Fuck them and Dank I cleared that ring alone with no help because I'm that damn good. John is lucky that his boy Mac came out and made sure I didn't get to him because I would have ended him right on the ramp.
Joe - I did like that when he called you out for the chair you tossed it away saying I don't need this to beat you.
Jonny - You're right I don't need the help to beat his ass. He thought I was a coward like him but I threw that chair away and set my sights right on him. He knew I wouldn't be allowed to get close to him. I'm sure he cried to Mac to make sure of that. Trig and Andy got the win sure but they lost the battle. This isn't about wins or loses or even that bullshit title. This is personal to me and I made sure everyone knew that last Delight. I have now taken out Trigger and Andy. 2 down and 1 more to go at April Annihilation. John Cavanaghs days at the top of First Class pro wrestling are numbered.
Joe - What about Dank? He is the other man in the triple threat at Annihilation and you definitely pissed him off with that chair shot.
Jonny - Good I'm glad fuck that dude. All he needed to do was relax and let me handle things but he messed it all up. He thought it would be a good idea to tag himself in and cost me the match. Shows exactly what kind of man he is. I was the one who was in the ring 90% of that match and they couldn't put me away. Dank is in the match for 11 fucking seconds and eats a pin. Fucking pussy ass piece of shit. I showed his stoned ass what happens when you mess with me. I want him to be pissed off at me.
Joe - You're very confident aren't you Jonny.
Jonny - I'm sure of my talent level Joe. I know what I can do in that ring. I also watch everything. I know what my opponents can do as well. I have wrestled John before and he failed to beat me and needed help. Deep down he knows I can and will beat him in that ring and I will beat him clean. I have never wrestled MR. DEADLINE POSTER DANK but I have kept a close eye. Nothing he has done here has made me think in any way he is a threat to me.
Joe - Stong words from you today Jonny.
Jonny - Not just words Joe I am a man of action. I will show everyone that the Celtic Cunts and Dank Sinatra are inferior morons compared to me. This anger that's been ignited in me feels fucking awesome. John you did this to your self, you asked for this when you had Trig get involved. This isn't about the title. It's about revenge. You embarrassed me, then you tried to bury me down the card. You played politics but it didn't work becasue here I am John. Standing infront of you yet again.
Joe - John did try his best to have you held down. Moving right on from you to Dank who clearly sucks in comparison. John knew exactly what he was doing this whole time. The only thing his didn't plan for was Infamous Jonny C to not play along.
Jonny - There was no way I would have played along. John can't beat me and he knows that. That's exactly why he played all these carnival games with me. He has tried to keep me away but it just hasn't worked. He built a crew around himself to protect him and I destroyed them. One by one they all fell. He is the last one. Like a true coward he has been able to avoid me this whole time. Always sending lackeys to deal with me further angering me. He has managed to not defend that title to conserve energy while he has me thrown through a cunt gauntlet for weeks.
Joe - You did run through them with relative ease I must say.
Jonny - Joe they are all fucking cowards man. It was easy none of them are a threat to me. John knows it to. Every single thing him and Mac threw at me I laughed off. These mother fuckers haven't even seen my at my best yet. I haven't had to tap into that power yet. It does make sense that this was made into a triple threat though. Dank doesn't even deserve a fucking title shot. Dank is just in that ring to help John. John is to much of a fucking pussy to take me on one on one. He knows he will lose. My man is going to sit back and hope Dank and I tire eachother out. I know his game plan already.
Joe - You could pin Dank and win the title. You don't even need to pin John.
Jonny - Oh I know Macs plan was to throw Dank in to eat a pin and keep the golden boy John Cavanagh strong but that's not going to fucking happen. I am going to pin John at the PPV. To be the man you need to beat the man right. What kind of man would I be if I talked all this shit for weeks on end then didn't take John out. That's not going to happen. As far as I am concerned Dank isn't even in this match with us. He is pointless anyway means nothing to anyone so fuck him. I got my sights on John and no one else. John will eat the pin on the 25th I promise you that.
Joe - Bold promise.
Jonny - The only time John got the better of me is when I didn't see it comeing. That will never ever happen again. Since then every single hurdle that's been put in my way I have destroyed. I took Trigger down twice and Andy down once. Some fucking muscle this idiots where. Joe you want to hear the funniest part of all of this.
Joe - Always.
Jonny - John Cavanagh calls himself the one many dynasty.
Joe - Are you kidding me. There is no way he actually calls himself that.
Jonny - Hand to God.
Joe - The man who needed his brothers help to win, cried to Mac to hold you down, needed his buddies to try and take you out, and hasn't defended that title since you really belives that he is a one man dynasty. That's fucking great. This dude is absolutely delusional isnt he.
Jonny - Very much so Joe. He really does this think he is one man and doing it all alone. That's like mental hospital level delusion if you ask me. I have made it so he needs to be alone in that ring at Annihilation outside of Dank the pin eater. I have stood alone in that ring. I haven't cheated or had anyone run in on my behalf. I am more of a man than John Cavanagh will ever be.
Joe - It seems that's very true. Well Jonny you have said it all. Any last words before we close out the show?
Jonny - John's days are numbered here. I'm coming at him with everything I have. I know he isn't ready for me but that's his problem not mine. April Annihilation will be the worst night of Dank and John Cavanaghs life. It will be my crowing moment. I will finish what I started weeks ago. I said I was going to pick apart the Celtic cunts and that's exactly what I did. John you will fall. I am going to beat you at the PPV not Dank. Your time for brown nosing and politics is over. You thought you backed me into a corner but it was me pulling the strings all along. John Cavanagh will eat the F'n Point and lay on that mat for the 1......2......3 making me the face of FCPW.
Joe - Jonny thank you for being on this week. It's been great talking with you and I can't wait to see the triple threat at Annihilation. Good luck.
Jonny - I don't need luck Joe I'm just that good.
The Joe Rogan Experience theme starts to play as both men stand up and shake hands. They laugh as the feed fades to black. |
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Post by JonnyFNC on Apr 17, 2021 4:31:46 GMT
The scene opens to an abandoned prison. Jonny C is sitting on what appears to be an electric chair. He is wearing an orange jumpsuit.
Jonny C - John Cavanagh where the fuck are you hiding man. It's been almost a week since the card was officially announced for April Annihilation and you are no where to be found. Judging by your little boyfriend Macs new rule you aren't even allowed 3 promos anymore because you decided to be a fucking coward and hide from me.
Jonny laughs.
Jonny C - You know I have been out here calling you a pussy, a coward, a peice of shit, a cunt, you name it I have called you it. Now I honestly belive everything I have said about you becasue I do know you're all of those things. I fully expected you to come out strong for this show and refute everything. You put on Twitter it's time to do what champions do and apparently that's run and hide like a little bitch. You have done everything you can to try hold me down. You didn't want me walking into the ppv but you fucking failed miserablely on that front. I'm not walking into the PPV I'm fucking running.
Jonny runs his hand through his hair.
Jonny C - I have come out and said the most vile and disgusting things about you Johnny boy and thus far you have only sent your bitch ass lackeys after me. I don't know why you thought they would get the job done but clearly they fucking suck. Tell me your friends and I will tell you who you are. That's something my grandmother always said to me. Turns out your a nasty piece of shit bottom feeding cunt John. I honestly thought you would have been out here with bells on to address me. After everything I have done to your family over the past 2 months. But no you are choosing to hide like a bitch.
Jonny takes a sip of water.
Jonny C - What it all boils down to John is that you can't beat me. You know that you can't. Last time you knew it as well thats why you had Trigger on standby to help out. This time he will think twice about do that again I can promise that. I have taken him and Andy out just like I said i would John. Unlike you bitches I'm not afraid to stand in that ring by myself and fight like a man. Something you and the celtic cunts know nothing about. Shit I have dropped 2 promos here before you have done one. Fucking coward. Again your scared of me and know you can't beat me. IM THE REAL ONE MAN DYNASTY here in FCPW.
Jonny laughs again.
Jonny C - I guess you still got your way John. You where able to make this a triple threat match becasue you don't want to fight me. You know you can't win this time so you hope I take out Dank and you can steal a pin. Again that's not going to fucking happen. One Man is getting pinned at the PPV and that's you John. I can't call myself the champ if I don't pin you to that mat. I have talked way to much shit to not beat you. Dank doesn't even deserve this title match to be honest. What the hell has he done here that makes him worthy.
Jonny rubs his hand on the electric chair.
Jonny C - This chair has killed hundreds of me. Most evil men some maybe not. The pain that's inflicted by this machine is absolutely unbearable. It may even match the pain I am going to bring to you at the PPV John. I am your death sentence man and there are no pardons in your future. I'm coming at you with everything I have John and you are not man enough to stop me. You couldn't stop a fucking kitten let's be real. You're a complete joke and we all know it John. All it took was someone with balls to call you on that. Your reign on terror over FCPW comes to an end at April Annihilation.
Jonny takes another sip of water.
Jonny C - Talking to Joe Roagn really made me stop and think of everything you have tried to do to me John. Every single show you have had Mac throw one of your cunts at me. Yet every single show I took them out and made them look like fools. You tried to have me demoted out of the title picture into a tag tournament. I managed to get away from that as well. Here I am John and I'm not going anywhere like it or not. You have done everything you can to insure I wouldn't make it yet here I am. You on the other hand have done almost nothing in the last 2 months as champion. Some face of the fucking company you are. When is the last time you had the balls to put that title on the line. Oh yeah it's when you had to cheat to retain it against me.
Jonny laughs
Jonny C - Now I know you will most likely come out and claim that you and Mac aren't close and that I'm full of shit. You can say you didn't politic to get to where you are and got here on your own merrits.
Jonny laughs really loud and says he knew he couldn't get through that with a stright face.
Jonny C - But you're a giant pussy and we all know thats bullshit. You can try and spin any narrative you want but we will all see right though it. I need to ask you John what kind of man are you anyway. You can't win on your own and you run away from fights more often than not. How can you look in the mirror and be proud of that. If for some reason you are proud of the man you are than go fuck yourself you disgusting human being.
Jonny stands up and brushes off his jumpsuit.
Jonny C - John the shit you have pulled over the last 2 months has definitely changed me as a man. In a way you could say you broke me. Kudos to you for that because no one else has been able to do that. You made me see the error in my ways and change them. I used to only want to be the best wrestler to ever set foot into a wrestling ring. But you changed that mind set John. My goal now is to ficking hurt you like you have never been hurt before. This is about way more that thag shit title you hold. It's about way more than just simply being the best. I want to make sure you never wrestle again. I want to take everything you love and destroy it all. I must remind you that you asked for this John. The second you had Trigger get involved you asked me to take the gloves off and declare fucking war on you. A war you where clearly not ready for. I mean it's been almost a week where the fuck are you? ?
Jonny walks over and picks up a plug. He blows dust off of it and plugs it in. A loud crack can be heard.
Jonny C - Holy shit this thing still works. I was not expecting that. Hell maybe I will actually bring it with me to the PPV. Now Dank I haven't forgotten that for some idiotic reason you're in this match as well. I'm not overly concerned about you because no one will see you till 11:15 pm April 23rd. 15 minutes before deadline showing us all the nickname Mr. Deadline is painfully accurate. You took it upon yourself to get involved in last weeks tag match. Then you lost the damn match cause you are a god awful. I still owe you a beating for that by the way. Win or lose I proved my point last week. I left all of you laying in the ring barely moving.
Jonny walks over and picks up a knife off a table.
Jonny C - John Cavanagh you have. Nowhere left to run. The time to put up or shut up is now. You have been able to avoid seeing me for far to fucking long. Your lucky Macs goons got in my way last week cause I would have ripped your head off weeks before our match. Everything I have done up untill this point has been child's play. Its taken almost no energy to run through your girl scout troop. I've been able to save it all for you.
Jonny takes out the knife and starts to carve something into the electric chair. It's John Cavanagh.
Jonny C - This was once a very powerful machine of death.
Jonny rests his arm across the top of the electric chair.
Jonny C - Come April Annihilation I am the death machine. Yes that's super lame I get it. But it's the fucking truth. All this running and hiding may have saved your ass but it has just pissed me off. Annihilation is the perfect name for this show because it's exactly whats going to happen. I will immediately take out Dank then proceed to absolutely annihilate you in every single way. I actually expected a bit more out of you John it's been nearly a week and outside of social media you have been a fucking ghost. Come out, come out wherever you are John. Or now that the match is here have you lost your nerve some? Come on John you know you can't run from me anymore. Don't make me come fucking look for you. That will end far worse for you.
Jonny stabs the knife into the top of the electric chair. He smiles and walks away as the scene fades. |
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Post by The Celtic Club on Apr 18, 2021 3:05:01 GMT
The overcast sky provided the backdrop for our scene today as small rays of sunlight were able to sneak through the overhanging clouds above. Pigeons flew above the streets as spring had returned to New York City even though it may have felt like autumn. The camera focuses in on a partially faded green signed with white lettering that read “The Blarney Stone Irish Pub & Grill”. Beneath the awning stood a familiar man who was using the doorway of the building as a resting place with his back leaning against the frame of the door. “The One Man Dynasty” John Cavanagh brought his eyes to the camera.
It seems like just yesterday that The One Man Dynasty was staking claim to his kingdom and being coronated the first ever FCPW Canadian Champion. While the American in me prefers an eagle to the maple leaf, the Irishman prefers the green, white and gold of the tricolor to this red and white and the conqueror in me prefers the designation of “World Champion”…I still carry this championship with pride. Why? Because it is the top prize that First Class Pro Wrestling has to offer, because I am the first…and thus far only…man to hold this championship and because, like It or not, I am going to make people come from all around the world to try and wrestle this championships from my grasp. I stepped foot into that ring at Love and War and I was able to outlast three other competitors to call myself the King of First Class Pro Wrestling. Not only that but the very next edition of Sunday Night Delight I did what a champion is meant to do—walk down that aisle, put the championship on the line and pin somebodies shoulders to the mat to keep MY championship! And what has happened around First Class Pro since then? An international consortium of talent have realized that they just don’t have what it takes to measure up against John fucking Cavanagh! Look at the list of those who have come and gone: Alex Kincaid, Alec Kirkland, Jace Mason, Blade Alexander and Jay Vaughan among others. Where are they know? Kincaid ran away when he saw The Celtic Club was here because he knew he couldn’t hang, Kirkland walked out in the middle of a match and then was too shook to face my brother, Jace hung his boots up after he failed to win at Love and War, Alexander disappeared like a ghost and Jay Vaughan’s ankle ran in to an unfortunate mishap. And with all of that bullshit going on around us? Two jerk offs have emerged from the shadows as the two men who want to take my championship from me—Dank Sinatra and Jonny C. But, I’ll get to those two punks shortly…
John popped off of the door frame and took a step towards the camera, coming out from underneath the awning.
As a two time loser in the Empire State I can say I know a thing or two about your past history finding a way to follow you wherever you may go. That has been ringing pretty fucking true thus far here in First Class Pro if I do say so myself. We’ve got this airhead old man Mac Dunney controlling the payroll and he decided to sign the unstable mad man Lou Natic to be the commissioner of this insane asylum. It’s a god damned shame when a company’s authority figure has a vendetta against the company’s most valuable employee. Matter of fact—Lou Natic’s personal vendetta is probably the reason why the fans of this shit hole have already been provided a John Cavanagh title defense live and for free on an edition of Sunday Night Delight and why Johnnie Cav is having the odds stacked against him in this Triple Threat Match at April Annihilation. Lou and I, we go way back to the beginning of the Empire Wrestling Federation down in New Jersey. Let’s just say Lou and I beat the ever loving shit out of one another on more than one occasion—we were even the two guys who faced off one on one to crown the first EWF Champion and I happened to be the guy to cary the torch at that time as well. Lou did finally wind up defeating me but it took some help from some prick Deathmatch Devin and a forklift to pin me for a three and keep me down for a ten count. Lou Natic has since wisely decided that he would keep himself out of in ring action—probably because he knows his win over me was a fluke and that if we faced off again he and the rest of the world would witness just that. I guess I should either thank Lou or Mac Dunney for this match I’ve got coming up now—a match where the history factor is already beginning to play a role.
John rubbed his hands back and forth while he looked up and down the block quickly before proceeding.
It’s almost like Lou Natic picked up his cell phone and made a call to his old buddy Dank Sinatra. Dank and I met each other once before, also back in the EWF—Dank do you remember how we met? Oh yeah, you and I faced off in the Quarter Finals of the Emperor’s Cup Tournament to crown the first ever EWF World Champion. May I ask what happened in that match, dude? Oh yeah, I hit you with a Hell’s Kitchen Drop. I planted your dumb ass right on top of your head in the center of the ring, I hooked your leg and got the count of three. Then what happened to Dank Sinatra? He dropped down the card into the Television Championship division—never to see an EWF World Championship match again. So, what happens to Dank Sinatra when he finally shows his face in First Class Pro? Dank Sinatra comes out to fuck with The Celtic Club. Why? Is it because Dank Sinatra is too god damned fried to know any better? Possibly. Is it because Dank Sinatra knew it would be the easiest way to make an impact and get himself noticed? You bet your fucking ass! Dank Sinatra got himself a nice contract because he used to rip bongs in the locker room with Lou Natic…can the guy work in the ring? Sure, he can put on a show—the crowd loves the idiot—so I won’t try to take any of that away from him but does he have what it takes to be called the FCPW Canadian Champion?
John paused and thought for a moment. He rubbed his chin as if to mimic the deep thought that he was in.
Yeah, I don’t fucking think so. Dank Sinatra has what it takes to entertain kids, he has what it takes to do some flips and twists in the ring, he has what it takes to open a show and get the crowd pumped—but he does NOT have what it takes to carry a promotion. See, the difference between myself and people like Dank and by extension Jonny C—I know what it takes to be the face of a brand. John Cavanagh knows what it takes to help a promotion like the FCPW grow from a regional promotion that you can only see in the Ontario province and on some syndicated television channels to a national and after that international wrestling promotion. Dank, Jonny...the two of you guys should really sit back, analyze and study my every move. See, I am the definition of a wrestling champion. I know how to make a championship's worth skyrocket, I know how to make one title feel as if it is the ONLY championship worth a god damn in the entire professional wrestling industry! How do I do that boys? Well, I'll give the both of you a little bit of a spoiler--I'm sure neither of you will mind as I'm sure you both still have enough brain cells to realize that neither of you are leaving Toronto as the Canadian Champion...even if you don't have the courage to admit it to the world just yet. I make a championship more desirable by taking fan favorites like Dank Sinatra and loudmouth punks like Jonny C and elevating them. That's right--I elevate morons like you two to the point that people actually think you're worth something!
John began to chuckle momentarily before continuing.
Now, I can already here Dank telling me he's too high to be elevated any further or Jonny C's cocky cerebrum having him spit out some bullshit rhetoric about how myself and the rest of the world knows that he's the best of the three in this match but that’s where the both of you show just how naive, just how foolish you truly are. See, the greats of this industry—people like myself—we don’t need to go in the ring and strictly dominate. Every time I mentioned one of your names, every time one of you lock horns with my brother or Andy, every time either of you pricks get to share screen time with me it does more for your career in one god damned day than you could get done in a fucking year! Just the fact that the two of you will be graced with the honor of sharing a ring with me and highlighting a pay-per-view with me is probably going to be the single biggest event both of you will take part in during the year 2021. And the sad part for both of you is that after you both fail and you both crumble at my feet—it’s all down hill from there. I mean, Dank may be too high to figure out how to request another opportunity anyway. As for Jonny C—he already bitched and moaned enough to get himself another opportunity at the Canadian Championship so I guess that’s what he will do after April Annihilation is over and either the man with a vendetta or the mentally feeble old man will give into Jonny C’s rhetoric and give him a THIRD opportunity to fail.
John cracked his knuckles and punched his right fist into his left palm.
Jonny C, this fucking guy. While I’m not exactly the easiest person to get along with in the history of mankind I can confidently say you are the MOST difficult person in the history of mankind to actually like. I’ve been listening to you sit around and shit talk over the last month and a half and I gotta say every single god damned thing I’ve heard you say is the same. The Celtic Cunts, Mac Dunney is a piece of shit, Dank Sinatra doesn’t give a shit, you’re a blowjob, you’re a coward, somebody has a sexually transmitted disease of some sorts. Shit man, and people think us kids that grew up on the streets are the stupid ones? I don’t even need to listen to your next promo—I know everything you’re going to say because you’ve already said it over and over again. I’m sure you’ll toss one or two “clever” lines in, at least you’ll think they’re clever lines but in reality no one is even listening to your bullshit anymore. Rant, rant, rant…Cunt, shit, cock…what the fuck man do you even have a vocabulary passed that of a middle school child? Go for it, tell me that doesn’t equate to a god damned thing inside of the ring—I don’t give a rat’s ass about your opinion regarding who has more passion and drive for this industry between you and myself or yourself and Dank. Take your passion and drive, take your allegedly superior shit talking skills and all of this “talent” you’ve sworn that you posses and mix it up in a god damned blender with your protein shake before you hit the gym on Sunday…drive that motherfucker down and bring your best at April Annihilation. Be on your A game Jonny because I don’t want to hear a god damned thing when this one is over. After I pin you or I pin that other piece of shit Dank Sinatra—I don’t want to hear you bitch ever again.
John laughed for a moment.
That’s a dream thats never going to come true. If our boy Jonny C has proven anything since he landed in First Class Pro it’s that he’s more skilled at bitches than even the females on the roster. It’s like this guy is always in a pissy mood, always feeling like someone, somewhere, did him some kind of wrong. Jonny…I know, I know…I only beat you because of help from Trigger and then when you got your hands on Trigger you whipped his ass from ring post to ring post and back again. Good for you Jonny—I’m glad you got some of your anger out on Trig and, honestly, I’m kind of happy you gave him a little ass beating…God knows the kid could use one from time to time. Now, when you’re sharing a ring with Dank and I next Sunday night I want you to fight with that same anger, emotion and passion that you brought to the ring when you decided to make quick work of Trigger. I want to see if that same effort will also put Dank Sinatra out of commission early on. Let’s see if Dank is any better than Trigger. Not only that, bring it with me—this way I can show you that even when you bring the best offense you can fathom…you still couldn’t hold my jock strap, kid!
A smirk began to develop on the left side of Cavanagh’s face.
Now, let’s let the entire world know just what kind of guy the shit talking extraordinary really is. This is the type of man who comes into a promotion, thinks his shit don’t stink to the point that he’s gonna still my schtick of talking shit about the old geezer that lines my pockets with fat wads of cash. Good job Jonny—I’ve been telling everyone within an ear shot about the ineptitude around here since before you were even offered your contract and you think you’re original? This is the type of guy who will complain people don’t listen to what he has to say but in reality if you took out each time he interjected a random profanity you’d cut his promo by ten to twenty percent—we could call it Jonny C “The FUCKING Short Version”…ever watch those videos Jonny Boy? This is the type of man who bitches and moans until the cows come home about the same shit over and over again, recycles the same pathetic insults as if they were ground breaking and what’s worse is that the poor guy has no idea what he wants. I heard you in the lead up to last Delight saying you can’t wait to take the Canadian Championship not because you want it but because of how much it means to me? Let’s make one thing clear—the Canadian Championship does NOT make John Cavanagh…John Cavanagh MAKES the Canadian Championship! Jonny if you were the first person to hold that championship it would be a laughing stock. You think top notch talent like Zavier Alexander, The Dream Killer, JT Maverick and Eron Hunter would be making their way to First Class Pro if the main prize was to compete against Jonny C?
John began to break out into an obnoxious, boisterous cackle that lasted quite a bit longer than his normal chuckle.
No way in hell! You know what the locker room would be filled with if Jonny C was the man around here? Guys like Jace Mason, Alex Kincaid, Alec Kirkland and Jay Vaughan—you, Mac and Lou would have a locker room full of a bunch of nobodies that couldn’t make the cut while Johnnie Cav was running the show! First Class Pro is racing towards the heavens while I have this promotion strapped to my back—if you had been the man tasked with that this promotion would have probably already closed its doors! Jonny—you’ve got potential kid, I’ll give you that but that’s all you have right now…potential. I can tell you right now, you’ve got quite a while to go before you’re even able to begin to harness that potential because right now? Right now you’re too young and dumb to know what the fuck you could have going for you! Keep stilling bits and pieces of John Cavanagh, keep trying to straddle the line between good and evil, keep trying to scream loud enough to make people recognize you—maybe sooner or later that formula will work for you.
John Cavanagh shook his head from side to side.
That’s just the thing though. This formula you’ve created—it hasn’t work yet, it’s not going to work for you at April Annihilation and it won’t work for you at any point after this triple threat match. I guess its time we change that moniker of yours from “Infamous” to “Insane” since that’s exactly what you will become as you continue to expect to succeed with the same exact formula that has failed you time and time again. You would think that you’d be starting to wise up by now…that maybe you would have been paying attention and taking some notes but it seems you’ve just been ignoring the truth. You, and Dank Sinatra for that matter, don’t have what it takes to get the job done inside of the squared circle with John Cavanagh. Keep ignoring that I can and will run laps around both of you in that ring. Keep thinking that you’re rage will drive you to the top of the mountain here or anywhere in this industry for that matter. It takes a cool, calm, collected, cerebral and opportunistic bastard to truly thrive and succeed in this business. Those same traits that it takes to succeed in this business—they are the same exact traits you need to carry a championship and promotion to prestigious heights. Now, wouldn’t you happen to know it? Those are just the kind of traits that John Cavanagh possesses. Hm, guess Jonny C and Dank Sinatra are up Shit’s Creek without a paddle when it comes time for our triple threat match at April Annihilation. I’ll see you guys there—you’re welcome for giving the both of you such a glorious opportunity.
John walked off, out of view of the camera as the scene cut to static.
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Post by JonnyFNC on Apr 20, 2021 21:24:57 GMT
The scene opens to what appears to be a throne room of a castle. Jonny C is sitting on a large golden throne. He has a goblet of liquid sitting on a table to his left next to a crown. The walls of the room are lined with suits of armor holding various weapons.
Jonny C - John Cavanagh walks around like his is some kind of King here. My man hasn't defended his title in 2 months yet still walks around like he is a big fucking deal. Claiming that First Class Pro Wrestling is his kingdom and shit. That's insanely funny to me. How can this be your kingdom when you're never here? How can you say you staked you claim when I'm here running the show every single week not you?
Jonny pick up the goblet and take a big sip.
Jonny C - Cav you came out here and called me a broken record. You said all I do every single week is repeat the same crap over and over again. You said all I do is run my mouth. I fucking have to John, becasue where the fuck have you been. You have given me absolutely nothing to work with here. You ghosted the whole fed for what feels like 2 months. You went and played hide and seek with that title of yours. You're a god damn coward and are trying to call me out for saying it. Guess I struck a nerve with you didn't I man. It's pretty funny if you ask me you calling me out for anything seeing as I am the one out here every single day putting in work. Working my ass off to made good on everything I have said I was going to do. So far I have done exactly that.
Jonny picks up the crown and holds it in his hands.
Jonny C - Yes it's true I come out here week after week and hurl insults at you and the rest of cunts you surround yourself with. 1 being because you all suck and 2 being because I'm the only fucking person showing up every single week. I am here at every single show that FCPW has. I am on every TV and cut promos more than anyone else. ME JOHN NOT YOU. I have made myself the face of FCPW while you just sat back and let me. I have done every single thing I have said I would here. I took apart your girl scout troop one man at a time. Everyone said Jonny C can't stand against them alone but what the fuck did I do, I stood against them alone and never backed down. I don't need help like you John. I don't need anyone else to fight my battles. You call this your kingdom come the fuck on even you can't belive that bullshit.
Jonny takes the crown and smashes it onto the ground immediately destroying it.
Jonny C - You're a peon John. Kings fall all the time and get beheaded. That's where I come in. You can call this what every you want but I call it your reckoning. You can't sit on your throne of bullshit anymore and watch this all play out. I called your card and try as you might I'm still here. The day of our last title match was the beginning of my quest to dismantle your kingdom bit by bit. I needed to make sure you didn't have anyone to come to your aid this time. I did just that didn't I John. How's Trigg holding up, how's Andy holding up? I highly doubt they will have the balls to hit that ring ever again when I'm standing in it.
Jonny stands up and stomps his boot onto the remains of the crown.
Jonny C - I love that you came out and layed claim to running countless wrestlers out of FCPW. John boy you have absolutely nothing to do with any of that happening man. These guys are weak men who didn't have it in them to fight. It takes a big man to stay here and fight your monarchy. Mac and yourself have run this place into the ground so fucking bad no one wants to stay. Why would they honestly, I'm a hot mess we all know that. Clearly that's why I made the decision to stay here and fight you assholes vs. No showing like I almost did. We all see how this place is run John. Promoter has a golden boy and does everything to keep them on top no matter how bad it hurts business. I didn't say that after the match we had Blade Alexander left the fed to never be seen again. I could have said that I beat him so bad he quit but I know that's not true at all. I don't need to lie and pad my resume to seem like a bigger man like you Cav.
Jonny sits back down on the thrown. He runs his hands through his hair.
Jonny C - It would make sense that you came out and tell a whole story about how you and Sweet Lou go way back. Used to work together in EWF wrestled all the time beating the shit out of eachother. That completely tracks if you ask me. You showed everyone that everything I have said about you is true. There was no need to add that part of your promo in outside of popping Lou and hoping he plays nice after this match. You politicing fuck. You just can't fucking help yourself can you. As much as I repeat myself you still just don't get it. You're talking out of both sides of your mouth every time you open that cock sucker of yours. Calling yourself the one man dynasty then saying how the commissioner is your boy from EWF and you guys used to run shit in jersey fighting for the top title. He cheated to beat you, is that where you learned it Cav? First of all Jersey is the arm pit of America. A god damn toddler could run jersey. Some one man dynasty you are having Lou and Mac in your pocket. By the way you did exactly what I said you would and down played your sexual relationship with Mac. Again you just can't help yourself.
Jonny starts to laugh really hard. He can't seem to compose himself. He grabs a towel and wipes tears from his eyes.
Jonny C - I was just thinking about that part in your last promo where you said you know what it takes to be the face of a promotion. You actually said those words and your pants didn't explode into flames. You also said you're the definition of a wrestling champion. The dictionary defines champion like this : a person who has defeated all opponents in a competition or series of competitions, so as to hold first place. BROOOOOOOOOO did you get into Danks supply. I don't see cheating to win anywhere in that definition. The only thing you're the definition of is a cowardly bitch. No one has seen you John. In what world is running from matches and not being on shows the definition of wrestling. I will fucking retire right now if that's what people think of wrestling. Get your fucking head out of Shannon's ass John and wake the fuck up. You ain't shit anymore homie.
Jonny grabs the goblet again and takes a sip.
Jonny - You may have been the man here before I arrived but it's been all Jonny C since the first fucking day I rode in on my tank here. I have been on every single fucking show that's been run since my first day here. HAVE YOU JOHN? I have maxed out my Promos for every single match here John HAVE YOU? No you haven't so sit the fuck down and get off your high horse. You where washed up when you got here man Mac and Lou threw you a bone and brought you in when the roster was made up of basicly just you and them. I see the roster page and who was signed up when this place started I'm not fucking blind man. In the most brainless decision in wrestling history they decided to make you the chosen one here.
Jonny rolls his eyes hard.
Jonny C - Where the fuck has that gotten us John. You claim you helped turn this little regional fed into a huge deal. All I see when I look around is shows that barely come together. Guys are no showing and leaving left and right. Im actually shocked that we have made it this long. There is almost zero retention of talent here. What do we have like 7 active wrestlers here and like fucking 4 of them are your celtic cunts. Dank barely does anything and he is in the main event. A few other guys deserve that spot but they don't know Lou or Mac from back in the day so. Kincaide and Jay where top level guys and left FCPW for a real challenge. You spin whatever narrative you want but it's clear as day guy. You guys can't even run your own inter fed group chat, you need to look for outside help for something that fucking simple. All of FCPW is a joke.
Jonny smiles.
Jonny C - This brings me to why I continue this fight. Why do I bother to lower myself to FCPW when I have other greater things happening across the pond. When everyone else has left and abandoned this sinking ship I have stayed. It's something I have been asking myself quite a bit John. I don't have a great answer to be honest I don't really know. Maybe it's Pride, you did me dirty and I need the payback. I want to end you and I will belive me. Maybe I stay for arrogance I know I'm the best talent here and it's nice to know I am the best compared to everyone else. Maybe I stay because I'm too fucking stupid to see this is a dying fed. Maybe just maybe it's Ego, maybe I want to be the one to save this place. Maybe I want to put this fed on my back and take it places no one ever imagined it would go. I have turned more eyes onto this fed in 3 short months that anyone else has. (HI Dream Killer) Like I said there is no easy answer as to why am I here. I would say it could largely be that simplely put I have unfinished business to attend to.
Jonny grabs a bag from the ground next to the throne. He opens it and pulls out a jesters hat. He puts it on.
Jonny C - You can claim to be the king of this kingdom all you want John. Image means alot to you that's clear. You need to appear like a strong person but deep down you're not strong. You need to appear like a badass or tough guy because standing alone you're not. Me staying here as long as I have makes me look like a clown I get that. But to me image means nothing at all. I am what I am like it or not. You know what you get with me. You can paint me as the court jester all you want I will roll with it. I don't care what you think of me at all. I go by Infamous Jonny C. Infamous literally means having the worst reputation in case you didn't know. I would say I live up to that pretty damn well. This is about hurting you John that's it. You started this war and I'm here to finish it. I have said it before and I will say it again you're a peice of shit that I'm going to flush come the ppv.
Jonny shakes his head making the little bells on the hat jingle.
Jonny C - John you called me the most difficult person to like. Wow man thank you that means alot to me. Why would I give any fucks if you like me. I'm not here to make people like me. I'm here to wrestle that's it. That's all I have ever wanted to do. Well outside of hurting you that is. You claim you want me to come at you with everything I got. Why the fuck wouldn't I bring everything dumbass. My goal is to beat you lifeless I'm not showing up unprepared to do that. But that's the first thing you has said that I respect. You immediately followed that up by saying I can't hold your Jock. Is that why you had to cheat to win last time. Is that why you couldn't face me like a man and beat me clean. You're just as bad as I am when it comes to verbal diarrhea. Difference with us is I can back mine up and we have all seen you can't.
--‐----------‐-------Dream Sequence---------------------
Jonny rubs his chin and whispers to himself what will it be like when I'm champion? The screen gets wavy and harp music plays. The image changes to the FCPW locker room.
Tons of wrestlers are hanging out backstage laughing and having a good time while getting dressed. Jonny C stands up to address the locker room.
Jonny C - Guys since I have been champion we have been on a run of sold out shows. We can't pack them in anymore. We have a roster of almost 40 guys now and all of you have a great attitude. No one have left since John Cavanagh cried and had that epic meltdown and trashed the locker room when I took this title.
Jonny holds up the the Canadian Championship. It has red white and blue stars spray pained on it.
Jonny - We also just got word that the next ppv is already sold out and it's just over 90 thousand people to see Erron, JT, Hawkins and Jonny C fight for this title in a inferno tables match. As well as Fuck Yeah Fiona Harris vs Vic vs Tay for the woman's title in HELL IN A CELL in the co main event spot. The effort put in by all is just amazing and I can't thank you all enough for stepping up and making FCPW the best wrestling fed on this planet.
The locker room goes wavy again and cuts back to Jonny C sitting in the throne room laughing.
----‐------------------Back to Reality-----------------------
Jonny C - That's exactly what it will look like when I take that title from you and continue to be the face the FCPW. You may not like me and think it's insanely hard to like me but the fact of the matter is everyone else does in fact like me. I will bring FCPW to the forefront of wrestling feds world wide. Something you have yet to mange John. You're era as the "face" has been a disgusting mess. I can't even call it a flash in the pan becasue there was never a flash at any point. You have flopped since you won that title. You have managed to avoid almost all title fights and almost all matches for that matter. Some "champion" you are. BE A MAN CAVANAGH wait I don't think you know how to do that.
Jonny grabs the goblet and takes a sip. He places it back on the table next to him.
Jonny C - I find it super funny John that you came out and said my formula hasn't worked. I mean I took out your closest friends, so close it almost like I have beaten you many times already. Your plan to have them finish me failed John. I would say that my formula is working better than I expected. It got me another title match with you didn't it. Something you definitely didn't want at all. It got me to take out Balde, Trigger 2x, Andy and Dank. I could have had Shannon like all the other boys but I'm not into the rats so I declined. You're so scared of me John it's almost sad. We are both talking a ton of shit to eachother but all mine is true. You can't refute anything I have said about you and the cunts. Everything you have said has been said to me my whole career. I'm to cocky, I repeat myself, I'm not the best, blah blah blah. Actually it's exactly what you said last time we met up in the ring. You know the time you couldn't beat me stright up. Since you love it let me run down a few of the things I have said about you John. I want to get them all in the same place so you can spew bullshit trying to refute them.
Jonny pulls a rolled up peice of paper out of his jacket. He starts to unroll it and unrolls onto the floor and rolls almost all the way out of the throne room
Jonny - Damn there is a ton of shit I have said about you I just for times sake I will hit you with a top 10, maybe a few more of my personal favorites. OK John here is why you suck as a person.
Jonny clears his throat.
1. You needed help to beat me.
2. You haven't defended the title in months because you know you can't beat me.
3. You claim to be a one man dynasty but like your bitch Shannon you're a many men dynasty.
4. You're scared of me.
5. You have no talent.
6. You got to where you are becasue of politics not talent see # 5
7. You eat thousands of potatoes per week you stupid Irish fuck.
8. You probably drink warm beer like an animal.
9. You can't fight your own battles ever.
10. You begged for Dank to be put into this match even if he clearly doesn't deserve the spot because you refuse to fight me stright up.
11. You and Mac could be lovers!
12. You and all your little butt buddies are cunts.
Jonny C - It's sad really because say what you will everything I just said is true. Every last word of it unlike you I'm a man of my word. I would never come out here and lie to everyone claiming to be something I'm not. Call me Infamous or Insane I don't really give a fuck John. You can claim my formula doesn't work but ask your boys or Dank how well it has worked. If anyone's formula is tired and doesn't work it's yours. I wrote the blueprint for how beat your silly ass formula. Watch out for cheating is all I need to do. Your formula is a fucking joke. You will see first hand at Annihilation I'm not the same man you fought last time. That's not good for you because last time you couldn't beat me. I'm pissed off now and that makes me dangerous. You can bet your ass I will bring this anger into the ring with me. You simply don't posses what it needed to beat me John. I know that's why you're going to gun for Dank early. Don't worry I will make sure he gets handcuffed to the top rope so he can't eat a pin for you. Triple threat or not John this match is You and I that's its. I don't care who else is in it. I got one goal and that's to beat you clean. There is nothing you can do to stop that either I am ready for everything.
Jonny takes of the jesters hat and places it on the table.
Jonny C - Now I guess I should address Dank in some capacity seeing as this is my Go home promo. You know Dank the man that John Cavanagh said is good for the kids and all. Some role model John you fucking doorknob. Weed is still illegal in most places outside of Canada at least and your advocating for kids to get into it all over the world. That's sad man it really is. Seems like some grooming shit to me. I'm not going anywhere near that shit you have fun with it. Dank I know we are still ways away from your single deadline RP and all but just a quick reminder. FUCK YOU. Yeah thats really all I have to say outside of you not belonging in the match at all pin eater.
Jonny tilts his head while looking into the camera raising on eyebrow.
Jonny C - I'm sitting here in a room full of weapons. All kinds of weapons I could use to beat you lifeless. I'm not going to use any of them though. I had a chair last show and when you called me out I tossed it away because again I don't need any help beating you senseless. These hands will do all the damage I need them to. I'm not a coward and will face you like a man come Annihilation. I don't need anyone saying I needed help to beat you like I have been saying about you for months now. You can try to cheat or have one of the cunts run in but it won't matter. I'm ready for everything you can muster John "The One Man Shit Show"
Jonny laughs.
Jonny C - You really think you know what it takes to be a champion don't you Cav. Just becasue you have the title doesn't mean at all that you know anything about being the champion. Cool, calm, collected, cerebral and opportunistic. It's opportunistic just a fancy way to say cheater. I myself wouldn't be proud of that but to each their own I guess. To me the only trait a professional wrestler needs to be the champion is being the best ficking wrestler on the planet. I know for a fact that's Jonny C. You can add a whole list of things to being a champion but not once did you say being a great wrestler. Really shows where your priorities are doesn't it. Shows you don't value what we do in that ring as what happens behind closed doors. Your list of what it takes to be a champion is the same list for being a rat bastared who needs to cheat and politic his way to the top. Says a whole lot about you "champ"
Jonny ties his hair back and fixes his jacket.
Jonny C - Well I guess that's it for me. I have said all I can say. Mac I know your not used to that man people fully showing up and maxing Promos this early but I'm not more wrestlers. I'm sure everyone here has seen that by now. I have left it all on the table for the world to see. JOHN the ball is in your court now. Let's get another one of those incoherent rambling lie filled crap piles you call a promo. I can't wait to see how you spin the narrative on the Insanely Infamous Jonny C. I'm not afraid of anyone here and will leave myself open. I don't need to promo last. I don't need to wait for other promos so I have content for mine. I will max out my shit and wait and laugh at everyone else's. See you in the ring John ha ha if you have the balls to stand in there alone. This is the part of the video game or movie where the heavy metal music intensifies and you 2 jabrones just aren't ready. I can't fucking wait to get in that ring at April Annihilation. I looking forward to handing out a long over due beating to you John. I guess Dank as well but we won't know where he stands for some time. No more running from me John Cavanagh it's time to see how much of a bitch you are. You can't escape me again.
Jonny stands up and turns and kicks the throne over as the scene fades to black. |
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Post by The Celtic Club on Apr 22, 2021 23:31:12 GMT
The scene opened the hum of fluorescent lights and the sight of the brake lights of a black 1996 Chevrolet SS Impala parked inside of a City parking garage. The driver side door opened and John Cavanagh stepped out from the car. He opened the back driver side door and retrieved the FCPW Canadian Championship. John slung the glistening title over his shoulder. John walked to the trunk of the car, he leaned up against the trunk and began to speak.
”Infamous” Jonny C—the man that claims he should be Canadian Champion at this very moment. The man who spent an afternoon running his mouth while shooting the shit with Joe Rogan of all people. I hope you had fun getting a little more exposure while you’re riding my coattails.
John shook his head back and forth.
People like you have always intrigued me Jonny. People who run their mouths, complaining about every little thing. Why wasn’t my one on one match on pay-per-view? I asked the same exact question when the match happened! Complain about having to fight Blade Alexander…bitch you had to fight Trigger before finally getting another title opportunity. Then what do you turn around and do? You go right on and bitch about your title opportunity! Let’s face reality, Dank Sinatra actually has more of a gripe than you do! See, unless you ate paint chip Cheerios as a kid you might remember that bastard was lucky enough to catch a pin on me. Get that? Dank Sinatra actually pinned me in a tag team match. Johnnie Cav doesn’t get pinned all too often and that’s something that you already know Jonny C. You bitch and bitch, cry and cry—you’re like a sniveling, spoiled child that didn’t get their way at a toy store. How appropriate actually. Jonny C, the child that he is, looking at that nice, brand new shiny toy—the Canadian Championship—and poor widdle Jonny just can’t have.
Cavanagh began to laugh for a moment before regaining his composure.
You’re like the god damned Boy That Cried Wolf you keep saying the same shit until no one believes you or gives a damn that you’re saying it. You sit around making excuses for why you were unable to successfully play the cards that you were dealt and you claim to be the greatest wrestler to ever step foot inside of the ring. You have got to be fucking kidding me…right? Trigger hit you with brass knuckles when you were “about to win”? Congratulations on ALMOST beating me, Jonny. Now I know that near victory is essentially the highlight of your career to this point but unfortunately for you almost only counts with horse shoes and hand grenades. You call the way I defeated you on that fateful Sunday Night Delight “cheating”…well, little boy, I grew up on the streets where there ain’t no rules when there ain’t no rules you can’t possibly cheat. If you want to question my moral compass feel free because I don’t give a shit about your opinion on my ethics. I know you’re on your moral high horse and all but I point to multiple famous athletes including Mark Grace and Joe Montana who can be quoted as using a variant of the “if you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying hard enough” slogan—so maybe you should come down off of your sating saddle and take the silver spoon out of your mouth.
John rolled his eyes.
I really can’t help but laugh when I hear you toss around your little pet phrases like “I’ve been doing this my whole adult life” or that my “glory days are behind me”. Listen child, you’ve been an adult for the blink of a fucking eye—don’t get me wrong, I can’t blame you on your naivety we were all young and dumb once upon a time myself included but you bring this shit to an entirely new level. You’re just honing your skills and trying to figure out just who the fuck you are inside of that ring while I’m still in my prime and still dominating competition everywhere I lay my hat whether that’s here in First Class Pro Wrestling or other promotions that are dotting the landscape of this profession. So while you continue to spew falsehoods and a young man’s ignorant wishes out of your cock holster You sit here and claim that I play politics—what fucking evidence is there of that bullshit? When have you EVER seen John Cavanagh speaking with Mac Dunney or Lou Natic in the locker room? Last I checked dickhead commish Lou was hired by Mac and Louie boy ain’t exactly my biggest fan. I think you need to go back to the drawing board with your half-assed conspiracy theories. I hear all of these piss poor excuses—you’re really grabbing at straws here and its undoubtedly one of the most pathetic sights I have ever witnessed. You blame politics, you blame cheating, you blame me, you blame Mac, you probably blame the fucking President and the Pope too. I can just picture you right now, the self-proclaimed “face of pro wrestling” sitting in his bomb shelter wearing a tinfoil hat.
John’s face developed a grin on the right side.
Jonny, if only you put half as much effort into your in-ring work as you do into formulating conspiracy theories—you may actually have a chance to win the Canadian Championship at April Annihilation. Unfortunately for you....you don’t. You just “know your talent level”, you’re so fucking full of yourself that you’ve been spending your time sitting down for interviews with a man who knows shit about the world of professional wrestling! You sit there with Joe Rogan and do your best job to get him to regurgitate your Celtic Cunt pet name, get him to say they’re cowards and you should have won or how he runs the UFC—man no one gives a flaming shit what Joe Rogan’s opinions are on a professional wrestler or a wrestling promotion! UFC may be a cousin of wrestling but that’s all it is—a relative and as anyone with half a brain would know...sorry guess that excludes you, Jonny...just because somethings are related doesn’t mean they function in the same manner.
John shook his head back and forth before rolling his eyes.
Jonny, I feel as if I’m falling into the same groove you fall into—let me constantly repeat the same shit over and over again. I mean, let’s face reality—if you keep saying the same things, I’m going to have to give you a rebuttal to the same thing again. Maybe if Jonny C comes up with an original line that he hasn’t already spit out I’ll give him something new. So, since everything you say—promo after promo—is the same exact shit I guess I’ll take the entire world on a trip down memory lane. Johnnie Cav has been around this world and back again...I’ve forgotten more about this industry that we call our profession that you’ve learned! You are still building yourself up, still trying to become one of the greats that this sport has to offer and ya know what? One day—you will be one of the greats, one day you will be a legend shit one day you’ll probably even hold the FCPW Canadian Championship but unfortunately for you, Jonny, that day ain’t this Sunday at April Annihilation.
John chuckled to himself as he stared down at the Canadian Championship slung over his right shoulder.
What’s the difference between Jonny C and Johnnie Cav? Well, that’s kind of simple...let’s dive right into it and take a look. John Cavanagh has fought in rings on different continents, different languages being spoken in the crowd and written on the banners, championships that you couldn’t even begin to fathom, formed factions that still live in infamy, built and destroyed promotions, beat some of the greatest wrestlers to EVER step foot inside of a wrestling ring. Jonny C? Jonny C hasn’t done a good damned thing worth mentioning over than have one of the worst cases of oral diarrhea that I have ever witnessed—and that’s saying some shit! We all know I can ramble on for quite some time—some of the men I’ve faced in my life must have kissed the fabled Blarney Stone but nothing like Jonny. For someone who hasn’t accomplished so much as a dog turd you sure seem sure of yourself Jonny. You’re like so many other young, brash, up and coming superstars in this profession—you think you are the shit before you’ve ever proved yourself. Where are your championships? Where are your hard-fought victories? What the fuck have you done that makes you so god damned special? You won a battle royal against a bunch of other no names to gain a championship opportunity and you bitched about that! I can recall you, clear as day, complaining about being booked into a battle royal. Again—what do you not bitch about? I could only imagine the poor women that must have found themselves in your life...poor girls must have though you were a bigger bitch than they were. Then you win, you bitch about not getting your moment at pay-per-view so karma treated you the way you deserved to be treated—you failed to secure the championship that would finally put some weight behind your pathetic name. I’ll stop rehashing Jonny C’s past right there because I’ve already covered his issues with facing Blade and Trigger. You’re very consistent when it comes to your bitching and moaning about pretty much everything so my question to you is—how the fuck could you believe, for a split second, that you’re the better fit to be the Canadian Champion?
John dropped the Canadian Championship to his hand and held the title up in the air.
Why am I better than you Jonny? I mean, the average FCPW fan probably doesn’t need to me to paint this picture for them but you obviously need me to paint a fucking Rembrandt for you. You want to know where Johnnie Cav has been the past week?
John lowered the championship, continuing to hold it in his right hand.
Listen up closely because Johnnie Cav has been doing things you couldn’t even dream of. While Jonny C is doing the public relations rounds and bullshitting with Joe Rogan, trying to give a little extra exposure to himself and FCPW, Johnnie Cav is off busting his ass, training, and preparing for what could be two of the biggest matches of my career. Well, of my career may be a bit of an overstatement but definitely two of the biggest matches since I stepped back into the ring. Not only do I have to find myself in Toronto defending the Canadian Championship against two undeserving, ungrateful pieces of shit...I also have to take a trip to St. Louis and battle another fifty some odd shitheads for another championship. I won’t go ahead and give that promotion free advertisement but let’s just say while I have an opportunity to prove my dominance twice in one weekend, Jonny C salivating at the mouth at the opportunity to win one championship. See, there we go looking at those differences again. Jonny C tries his best to conquer one mountain at a time while Johnnie Cav is doing his best to conquer the entire fucking mountain range!
John sucked his teeth and chuckled at a low volume.
Keep making your excuses for why you can’t reach the summit of the mountain—why you keep reaching for that “brass ring” but your little arms just can’t seem to grasp it—or those little baby muscles of yours just ain’t got the strength to pull the ring down. You want to compare me to the Hulkster, brother? Go for it! I’ve already made it plenty clear just how little your opinions, theories and feelings matter in the grand scheme of things. You want to talk about politics—I don’t play fucking politics, kid. This motherfucker right here...
John pointed to himself while staring deeply into the camera.
...he doesn’t need to play politics. I don’t need to stand on my soap box and convince people that I deserve opportunities or that I should face someone you view as an “easier” opponent. Doesn’t matter if I defend against you, Dank, your buddy Jay, any of these new shitheads that Mac Dunney signed to contracts—it really doesn’t matter who I defend against...in the end my hand will be the one raised and I will STILL be holding the Canadian Championship. Doesn’t matter if I pin you or I pin Dank—I will walk into April Annihilation as the FCPW Canadian Champion and I will also leave April Annihilation as the FCPW Canadian Champion. I stand here and declare that while still shaking my head at you thinking I would hide from a pion like yourself. You are your own worst enemy—your naivety and cockiness will be your own downfall when it comes to our triple threat match at April Annihilation. You may have talent, you may have promise—but you ain’t ready to compete at my level yet, kid.
John popped the Canadian Championship back up to his shoulder.
Your naivety is so visibly apparent even in your method of attack. You honestly think calling me a pussy or a cunt is going to set me off? You think that kind of childish bullshit even catches my attention? Let me teach you something. In 1996 when a guy named Tupac released a song called “Hit ‘em Up” he had beef with Bad Boy Records—prior to the release a little known artist named Chino XL dropped a little diss on Tupac. What did Tupac do? Did he create a track dedicate to dissing Chino? No. Did he spit a few bars about him in a song? Nah—didn’t even do that. All Chino got was “Chino XL…fuck you too” on one of the most vile battle records in the history of Hip Hop. Do I really need to explain to you why I wouldn’t BOTHER to give a shit about your opinion on me? Little boy, you’re Chino—and unfortunately for you, Tupac ain’t gonna die in this reality.
John walked off camera as the scene cut to static.
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Post by The Celtic Club on Apr 24, 2021 3:21:37 GMT
The scene opens to the sight of the he FCPW Canadian Championship—the gold and gems of the championship glisten in the sunlight of the beautiful New York City afternoon. John Cavanagh finds himself seated on a park bench with his championship sat next to him. John wears a black tank top, blue denim jeans and a pair of triple white Jordan Ones. The sky is dotted with a few small clouds allowed the sun to beat down on the City.
They say that its always calmest right before the storm—well today looks pretty calm to me so that must mean that there is a storm brewing. Its a metaphorical storm of course, I didn’t hear about the meteorologists predicting anything off the coast but they’re wrong fifty percent of the time anyway. Huh, meteorologists are wrong half of the time and keep their jobs—I guess they only person in the world that has a better racket going on than that is everybody’s favorite cornball “Infamous” Jonny C. See, Jonny has been wrong about every single thought that his pathetic little mind has been able to conjure up regarding me. He continues to constantly spew the same middle school insults—poor guy has the retention rate of a lab rat to boot as well since he can’t seem to get it through his thick skull that a certain Lou Natic probably hates my guts more than yours…I mean he did throw me off a cell and run Andy over with a fucking car not too long ago. This poor fool actually forgets why he is booked every show and I don’t need to be. Ever here of a thing like paying to see the big draw? Does it make sense for our feeble minded employer to book John Cavanagh on every single Sunday Night Delight? No fucking way in hell! That’s just poor business decision making and that’s why someone like Jonny C isn’t in charge of any promotion. Let’s parade the top draw out show after show until the fanbase has seen him wrestle so much that paying for a pay-per-view just doesn’t seem special anymore. You on the other hand? You’re not that big of a draw, kid face the sad reality of the situation. You’re also still young enough to be paying your dues in this business…trust me I’ve been where you are—the brash, cocky young punk that called out the top guys and made up excuses for why they didn’t deserve their spot.
John shook his head back and forth while staring off into the sky. A few pigeons flocked through the air and landed on the ground about ten yards from John.
I guess since I’ve been there that means there is still hope for “Infamous” Jonny C. There is still that far off possibility that Jonny C may actually develop from the young punk ass he is at the moment and become someone capable of setting the tone and carrying an entire promotion on his fucking back as if it where nothing! My music hits, I walk to the ring in street clothes and cut a promo—that segment gets a nice little rating pop. Jonny C comes down to the ring and busts his ass for twenty minutes—the rating stays relatively the same the entire time. Mac, and any other promoter that currently employs me, they don’t need me to get in the ring and make every single talent they have look like shit one after another to make my salary worth it. Jonny C on the other hand…they’ve gotta milk every second out of you to make that paycheck of yours worth it for Mac’s bottom line. Sorry to be so blunt and honest with you Jonny but sometimes the truth hurts.
John rubbed his hands back and forth and pulled himself up, arching his back in order to bring his face a bit closer to the camera.
I guess you think you’re cute trying to get a little historical regarding kings falling all of the time—citing beheading as if that were a threat your simple self would actually be capable of fulfilling. I, as someone who has a certain love for history thanks to the literature I’ve read through my many stays with the State, would beg to differ with your assessment that kings “fall all the time”. The majority of kings didn’t fall at the hands of a guillotine or an executioner’s blade—did some? Of course! Where some kings conspired against by their own court and their most trusted confidants? You bet your ass that happened as well. The problem with your little hypothesis Jonny is that in the end you aren’t in my court…you don’t have anyone to help you pull off a coup d’etat to take over the kingdom. You want to sit there with your borderline cosplay with your toy goblets and crowns, your rigged electric chairs—you be my fucking guest go for whatever shock value that you think you’re gaining from that shit. All of your attempts to hurt me whether they be a piss poor verbal attempt at psychological warfare or what you consider “dismantling” Andy or Trigger—doesn’t mean shit. You haven’t put a dent in my armor yet.
John laughed for a moment and looked back up to the sky as part of his face became covered with the shade from a cloud that had begun to slowly move past the Sun.
You worry about when myself or Dank Sinatra is going to come out and take time out of our lives to address you—people will get to you when they get to you. You’ve tried to get into my head through your accomplishments in the ring, through your childish attempts at insults and yet it would seem that by not hitting record on a camera and letting the FCPW Universe catch the sound of my voice I’ve succeeded at getting in your head without about as much effort as an absentee parent. You can claim that I’m running scared of you but what do you expect Jonny? Was I supposed to hop in my Impala and drive up to whatever part of Connecticut it is your from to beat your ass before April Annihilation? Tell me, exactly, in what fucking dream world does that even making sense? There aren’t many people I’ve met that have this few brain cells at your age—maybe you really should just give wrestling up now you may be just a few chair shots away from becoming a permanent vegetable. Oh, wow, how sad would that be? Johnnie Cav brains Jonny C with a few chair shots and the piece of shit falls asleep, never to wake up again. Sounds like the best gift I could give to First Class Pro Wrestling. I don’t see any benefit from having to listen to you regurgitate your little list of your favorite things that you’ve said to me. Why the fuck does anyone need to hear you say the same thing more than one time.
Cavanagh picked the Canadian Championship from its seat next to him on the bench. John draped the championship across his left shoulder.
You say you don’t know why you stay here? Maybe it’s ego, stupidity, “unfinished business”—we all know why each and every single one of us is in this promotion and that’s this right here on my shoulder. You and I, as Americans, we can joke all we want about Canada—I can say I’d rather this be the United States or World Championship, you can have your little dreams where you went all Hollywood Hulk Hogan and spray painted the belt but in the end THIS is why we are all here. THIS means a bigger paycheck. THIS means being the most valuable asset to the company and most importantly—THIS means that you are the best that this company has to offer. Huh, funny how the guy who claimed that I was politicking like Hulk Hogan would actually want to steal an angle right out of the Hulkster’s own playbook in his little fantasy land where he wins THIS from me. Well, while I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to your rebranding of the championship—I guess the back water folks to our northern border will be happy once I hit a Hell’s Kitchen Drop and pick up the three count on your dumb ass—or maybe Dank Sinatra if that’s the one that arises.
John looked down towards the Canadian Championship, he smirked and continued.
See, something that Jonny C really seems to be missing in all of this is that while he truly believes he is a different person because I pissed him off and that makes him dangerous—that right there is part of the reason he won’t be leaving April Annihilation the best wrestler in the company. You can take your anger and your rage and while that may translate to some amazing outbursts of energy and violence—in the end you’re going to be the one playing on emotions. You wonder what opportunistic means? Opportunistic doesn’t have to be “cheating” as you like to call it. Opportunistic can be taking advantage of a weakness—an opponent’s leg may be injured…would you call it cheating to play off that injured leg? No, you wouldn’t but it would be classified as opportunistic. As for what I need to do to make sure you’re not the Canadian Champion at the end of Sunday? I will gladly play to the card you’ve already been so eager to expose. You want to run on pure emotion…be my fucking guest. Emotions run high, emotions drain out the intelligent part of your brain, emotions can change and in the end fighting with emotions as your fuel can ultimately lead to your emotions gettin the best of you. Jonny, that’s exactly what I see happening to you. I don’t see Jonny C being able to keep his composure, Jonny C is going to get too caught up on his emotions—that feeling you have that has made you hell bent on hurting me. I’m sure that right now, with every single word that spills out of my mouth that Jonny C is sitting there getting more and more heated, seething more with each syllable, his face growing flush with a red color from the blood that rushes to it as his heart races while I verbally cut him down inch by fucking inch. While you try and meander and claim I’m “never hear” and that you put in more work than anyone else its quite clear that you’re blind as a fucking bat. Every single show The Celtic Club is here—Johnnie Cav may not be wrestling but if Andy and Trigger are here so am I and so is Shannon. Was I wrestling last Sunday Night Delight? No. Was on the show? You bet your ass—you and I were about to bring the god damned house down before security bum rushed the arena to save the company’s bottom line. Johnnie Cav and Jonny C lock horns for free again on television and the world watches Johnnie Cav body Jonny C and we can bet our next paychecks the pay-per-view buy rates won’t be anywhere near the heights this company needs them to be at.
John ran his hands through his blonde hair and leaned back for a split second. He waited before finally standing up on his feet. John kept his championship on his shoulder as the camera panned out and caught some of the Hell’s Kitchen back drop. The neighborhood that had helped shape and mold John and his attitude over his lifetime. The neighborhood had gentrified more and more during his lifetime, the median income had risen, the neighborhood was no longer known for its rough and tumble ways but John was a relic, a throwback to an archaic time—a man that should have been born decades earlier. He had come a long way from street fights and petty crimes in this neighborhood that his family had called home for generations and he wasn’t prepared to take a step backwards.
I’ve been fighting for a kingdom for quite some time now Jonny. It may not be the kingdom you claim to desire but I had to defend the kingdom I’ve lived in my entire life long before Johnnie Cav ever stepped foot inside the squared circle. You claim to put more eyes on the product—maybe you do. I know you have history with a few of the newest signings that have popped up around here. Isn’t that funny how Jonny C bad mouths Mac Dunney constantly but yet he’s pointing Mac in the direction of talent that should make Mac’s job of promoting shows easier? I’m going to start calling our young Jonny C by the name of one of our shared nation’s Founding Fathers—from here on out, Jonny C will forever be referred to as Thomas Jefferson. Now, before I move on I’ll be sure to explain the historical reference as I’m sure it’s gone over your head a bit Jonny. I know its been a while since history class and honestly, you probably didn’t do very well in any classes—especially English and probably history judging by your prior comment on the extrapolation of the ending of King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette during the French Revolution across the majority of history’s monarchs. Thomas Jefferson was a man who believed in a weak Presidency and a strict interpretation of the Constitution. Thomas Jefferson didn’t think the President should be a powerful figure and he firmly believed that if a power wasn’t written down in the Constitution as expressly granted to the President—then the President couldn’t do it. So what did good old TJ do? Thomas went ahead and increased the power of the Presidency in 1803 by establishing that the American President could purchase land when he spent fifteen million dollars to double the size of the country and gain control of the Mississippi River with by buying Louisiana from Napoleon Bonaparte. Oh, and he used a loose interpretation of the Constitution to do it as the President wasn’t given this power.
John paused before a toothing grin developed on his face.
And, ya know—a bit more controversially—he did write that “all men are created equal” yet had slaves and had a family with his slave. Make matters even more fucked up that slave was the daughter of his wife’s father—his half sister-in-law was his slave and he had a family with her right under his wife’s nose and those kids were slaves. Shit, history is fucked up—just like Jonny C and his perception on the world. While Jonny talks shit about Mac Dunney while simultaneously helping Mac add talent to the locker room, while Jonny claims that he is going to topple my kingdom when he knows, deep down inside, that he is bound by destiny to fail—Jonny continues to play the role of FCPW”s walking oxymoron just as Thomas Jefferson played the role of history’s walking oxymoron. So, Jonny “Thomas Jefferson” C the man that claims to have “the worst reputation” as he drops his Dictionary.com definitions on the masses and proves once more just how out of touch with reality he is thinking someone who can speak circles around him, and can undoubtedly express himself at a much more eloquent level wouldn’t understand what his not so original nickname meant. Your reputation isn’t that of the worst—your reputation is that of a green, shit-eating young man who thinks its his time when its pretty apparent there isn’t one talent in this locker room yet that can touch what I bring to the ring. You said I never said I was the greatest wrestler in the world—I don’t need to shithead. I’ve been proving it throughout my entire career. Funny how in every promotion I work in it gets to the point that even the assholes like you who stand across the ring from me wind up putting me over with their words—it won’t be much longer before Jonny C is doing the same thing. Maybe after I beat you and Dank Sinatra into submission I can harness your anger and teach you how to truly become one of the greatest wrestlers in the world. I’ve dominated promotion after promotion—plenty of opponents from a multitude of different promotions have had no choice but to eat their words and change their tune after a run in or two with me in the ring—Johnnie Cav is all business. You thought you had me beat during our first encounter? Trigger got his nickname because he’s a prick and is known for jumping the gun. Had Trigger sat back, relaxed and allowed the entire situation to play out then he would have found out that his big brother had the entire situation under control. Jonny C wouldn’t have secured the three count he needed to take the Canadian Championship away from me. Jonny, you make assumptions—there wasn’t even a referee to make the three count at that moment. Had Trigger not gotten involved I can almost guarantee you that my shoulders would have been up after a count of two if not after a count of one.
John shook his head before spitting to the ground. He took in the scenery, the few trees that dotted the small neighborhood park and the traffic that raced by on the busy New York City streets. It was this contrast that made City parks such a wonder—a small slice of nature surrounded by the hustle and bustle that engulfed our every day lives…one small piece of heaven where you might be able to go and forget all about all of the bullshit that life tends to dish you. In life, as in the sport of wrestling, its always important that we all take the time to ensure that our heads get to clear from time to time.
I will walk into our Triple Threat with my head held high, confidence on full display because despite what Jonny C keeps telling himself—Johnnie Cav doesn’t need to cheat in order to retain his championship. I mean, I could be a wiseass and say there are no disqualifications in a triple threat and therefore you aren’t able to cheat but that would be a cop out. Whether I pin you or Dank I don’t need Andy Donahue or my brother to waltz down to the ring to help out. They know that they eat better when my pockets are fatter so sometimes the two of them decide to take matters into their own hands. While I may scold them later on and may not exactly appreciate the assistance—you’d also be a fool to turn it down. You call it cowardice, you call it cheating—I call it grasping an opportunity, I call it Machiavellian. I’m a man who fully embraces the expression “the ends justify the means” and maybe you should too. I know you missed out on a lot of history and English Language Arts classes so I’ll spell it out for you again. There was an Italian philosopher—don’t bother checking Google for a definition, that means someone who writes about their thoughts on a particular topic—by the name of Niccolo Machiavelli during the early 1500s. Machiavelli published a small book by the name of The Prince and in it he gave advice on leadership and military strategy—its not actually that long of a book so maybe you can get through it and take some notes although the language he uses may fly right over your head at points. Make sure you have your phone next to you Jonny—as a matter of fact maybe that will help you better express your feelings rather than saying fuck, shit, cock, balls, cunt and bitch every fifth word. Life is all about variety Jonny, maybe I can turn you on to more literature that might help you not only have some more coherent, cognizant thoughts but also expand your vocabulary a bit. Imagine that Jonny C actually being able to formulate a coherent thought while not sounding like a sixth-grader on the playground after school. What a wonderful world that would be indeed.
John arched his back as he stretched and watched a group of college students walk by the park.
Those kids are just like you Jonny. Young, dumb and full of cum as the expression goes. They think they know everything, they think they know how to do it better than those that came before them, they think that they have the world by the balls but little do they know life is always ready to shovel some shit on their face. Well, Jonny—you are those brash young college punks, you think you’ve got the world by the balls and you think that you’re about to take what is mine in order to establish yourself as top dog on the mountain…well, I’m life and this Sunday night at April Annihilation I’m going to shovel a whole pickup bed load of shit onto that smug face of yours when I leave Toronto STILL First Class Pro Wrestling Canadian Champion. There isn’t a god damned thing that you or our high as a kite friend, Dank Sinatra, are going to be able to do about that.
John raised his eyebrow.
Holy shit! I almost forgot about Dank! Sad the fucking guy hasn’t even decided to show up and mention so much as a peep yet—so many fucking people at EWF thought he had so much potential. I’m assuming his old road buddy, that shithead Lou Natic, was the one who got Dank a sweat deal from the easily convinced old man that runs this place that included a Canadian Championship match. Well, Dank, whether my assumption regarding you is wrong or right everyone knows this doesn’t matter. Mac Dunney knows that I can beat you—shit man, I already have beat you one on one almost a full year ago at EWF’s Emperor’s Cup—and I’m pretty sure he thinks Jonny C can beat you…shit I even think Jonny C wouldn’t let his arrogance get in the way of defeating you and that’s saying something. So why is Dank Sinatra in this match then? Probably because of the theory I have and Mac decided lets get this title shot over with—either of these guys can easily beat Dank anyway. I guess Mac already has his eyes on the future then guys. Mac saw the writing on the wall long before myself, Jonny or Dank. Use Dank as the fall guy—get the big payday when Jonny C and Johnnie Cav finally meet one on one, one more time for the biggest pay-per-view payoff possible. Well, in that case Dank…thanks for playing along at April Annihilation. And, I guess I will get this out of the way in advance—thanks for taking that Hell’s Kitchen Drop and the pin, or thanks for tapping out in the Celtic Deathlock because one of those two is the ending of this triple threat match in two days time. Shit guys, less than two days—in less than forty-eight hours you can both stop your little fantasies of being Canadian Champion and wake up with the realization that Johnnie Cav is STILL better at this than both of you pieces of shit combined!
John began to walk towards the exit of the park as the scene cut to static.
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