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Post by FCPW President Mac Dunney on Mar 30, 2021 0:09:20 GMT
All roleplays for this match to be posted here.
Deadline is Friday, April 9 at 11:59pm EST.
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Post by JonnyFNC on Mar 30, 2021 2:00:06 GMT
The scene opens to Jonny C sitting in what appears to be an old class room. There is a chalk bored in front of class with some squares drawn on it. Red Xs are drawn through the squares. There is garbage can filled with baseball bats and kendosticks. Jonny stands up and walks closer to bored. He unzips his hoodie to revel a ridiculous gold chain with bloody brass knuckles hanging from it like a Jesus peice.
Jonny - First and foremost let me address that little press release that the brass put out. It asks if myself and Dank can coexist long enough to get passed the Celtic cunts. No we won't that's it I have answered the burning question. It's what everyone wanted to know right. I have no desire to build any kind of team with Dank Sinatra. This is what you call a click bait match. No one cares who is wrestling vs Dank and I all they want to see is how we work as a team. Spoiler alert we won't work as a team. I will tag myself in and never tag out if I don't start the match. I didn't ask for help and I don't need help to take this bitches out. Hey Trig how's your jaw feel asshole.
Jonny smiles then rubs the brass knuckles hanging from the chain. He grabs them and gives them a kiss.
Let me address Dank first since that's all anyone will care about. I have no real reason to not like you but I don't. You're just fucking dumb man. Ohhhhhhh look at me with a super edgy weed name, and my girlfriend is named THC ha ha ha I'm so silly and stoned. My moves are named about weed strains becasue I'm an unoriginal fuck. That little gimmick of yours was stupid as hell in the mid 90s and now it's just fucking sad. I get it you watched one Cheech and Chong movie got a fucking hard on and never looked back. Let me guess RVD is your favorite legend. Go fuck yourself Dank cause I don't give a shit if we are supposed to work as a team I'm not going to work with you. I refuse to lower myself to be a partner of yours because I'm so much better than you will ever be. I see these new rule changes that are being out forward it's probably because you barely show up for your main event matches. Mr see you at deadline gimmie a fucking break. Just when I thought this place couldn't get any worse.
Jonny grabs a manilla folder off the desk closest to him. He opens it and it looks like there are pictures inside of it.
Jonny - Next month Dank we are in that ring with the head cunt for that Canadian Championship. I will tell you this right fucking now Dank that title means nothing to me I want to hurt Jon and will do just that. Well maybe I do care about the title just a bit because I know how badly Cav wants it. It's crystal clear because this fuck never defends it at all. It's been how long since he put it on the line? I guess being the man in the shadows pulling strings has its advantages. Dank you better not get in my way at Sunday night delight or in the title match because I will drop you where you stand. I know you have a history with Cav and are friends with the owner here. Guess that's how you walked into the main event spot vs earning it like I did. I don't take handouts but apparently you do. I earn everything single thing I get. I worked my ass of to get where I am. You guys sucked the bosses dick to get where you are. Bold to say it out loud but we all knows its true. You're referred to as a former TV champion that's fucking sad not even a former world champion. When I'm done with you they will refer to you as a former main eventer, no no I got a better one. DANK SINATRA FORMER WRESTLER.
Jonny grabs a headshot of Dank Sinatra and tapes it to the chalk board. He grabs a hunting knife off the table and stabs the picture of Dank in the forehead.
Jonny - Moving on to my actual opponents not my "partner". Asshole Andy and Bitch boy Trig. Andy DonaWHO might be the worst part of the Celtic Cunts and thats just flat out awful. They all suck but Andy you suck so much more. The biggest nobdy in a faction of blowjobs. Andy you're completely irrelevant here in First class. What the fuck have you even done here. Oh that's right you where in the battle royal with me. I didn't see you though because you where out of there so fast. Fucking pathetic pussy. Here's the deal Andrew I have known people like you my whole life. Always looking for a so called tough guy to follow. Always looking to suckle at the teet of the alpha dog right? Yeah I know I'm right man you're a teet sucking bitch Andy and that's all you will ever be. Once again you showed how much of a god damn coward you are running in after a match with a chair and taking out Jay.
Jonny walks over and grabs a steel chair. He lays it on the desk and takes out a can of spray paint. He writes Andy on the chair.
Jonny - I still owe you this chair shot and it's now marked and ready to meet your skull Andrew. Such a tough guy. Just like you Celtic Cunts always looking for the run in or cheap shot because you can't stand toe to toe with anyone like a man. Jay is more of a man than you will ever be Andy with 1 or 2 ankles. If he was ready for you it would have been a more violent story for you. But you already knew that, thats why you took the pussy was out. It's funny how fast you disappeared when I hit that ring with my sights set on you. When shit got real you made like pedophile when the cops showed up. Guess what asshole you will have nowhere to run and hide come Sunday night delight. That is if you even have the balls to show up knowing I'm waiting for you. You're the next name on my hit list Andrew I have already taken out your boy Trig.
Jonny takes out a headshot of Andy and uses a knife and stabs it into one of the other squares.
Jonny - Hey Trig how are you? I hope you're doing well. No I really don't I hope you need to eat through a fucking straw for the next 2 weeks. Then you get in that ring and I break your God damn jaw again. No wait maybe I will go for an arm or a leg this time. Trig when's the last time you even won a match Bro. I mean if I ran a fed I wouldn't keep putting some loser wanna be super high up on the card. I guess that's why Mac has zero retention for talent. A few weeks and they are gone for good. Isn't that right Mac. Yeah I see what goes on around here. That's why I'm not overly surprised that you get another main event Trig. We all know who really calls the shots here and it sure as shit isn't Mac. Nonetheless I failed last show. I told everyone I was going to kill you Trig and I failed to do so.
Jonny Grabs the picture of Trig and kisses his forehead.
Jonny - Lucky for me I will get another chance next delight. That is if you have the balls to walk back to the ring and face me like a man again. Should be a little easier for you this time though because you will have your little butt buddy next to you. I know how you love strength in numbers cause alone you guys are complete fucking jokes. Once again Trig you acted like a pussy and went for the brass knuckles to try and take me out. This time unlike the last I was ready and waiting for it. I knew when you get backed into a wall you cheat to win because you have no actual wrestling ability. You need weapons to win a match. I on the other hand don't need them to win. Like your brother you're not even in the same league as me and I showed the world that last show. I showed everyone that one on one none of you even hold a candle to my in ring talent. I hurt you good Trig. Try to say otherwise but we all know the truth. You can say and do whatever you want but you always remember that I turned the tables and used your own weapon on you. Notice how I put them away till I beat you strigut up because I don't need help.
Jonny takes another hunting knife and once again stabs a picture into one of the squares.
Jonny - I am the real one man dynasty in FCPW not your brother. I'm the one that doesn't need anyone standing in my corner to help me. I am a one man army taking on anyone who gets in my way. I don't even have Jay here anymore not that I needed his dead weight anyway. Trig I am going to continue hurting you next show. I will continue the ass whopping I started last show. Also pick out the weapon you want to sneak attack me with very carefully because again I will steal it and use it on you. I know you to well now Trig and that's not good for you at all. My systematic dismantling of the celtic cunts is very much going according to plan. Trig you fell first, and apparently will fall second as well. Asshole Andrew will be third than that bitch Shannon will go down as well. I told you these hands are equal opportunity. All leading me to Cavy. You couldn't beat me alone last time Jonathan so this time I'm making sure you have no one that can come to your aid.
Jonny looks directly into the camera. He smiles and nods and pulls out one last picture it's of FCPW owner and president Mac Dunney.
Jonny - It would seem that there is no more tag title momentum for me to gain. I would guess that's because Jay's career was basically ended last show. Granted he was jumped by a coward who can't fight like a man but it happened. I have to say I'm glad it's over. I don't play well with others, even with people who I refer to as my Best Friend for Life or BFFL if you will. I would love to say thanks to Mac dummy for making this happen but he had nothing to do with it. He doesn't make decisions here. It's really convenient the week after I came out here and took a hot steaming shit on everything FCPW is I'm right back in the title scene.
Jonny grabs another knife. He holds up the picture of Macs head but pauses. He smiles and takes it down.
Jonny - Maybe I should be grateful for that but I'm not. I should have gotten my title re match right away. I also shouldn't have to share my God damn moment with some perma stoned doorknob who was a joke in EWF or where ever the fuck Dank came from. Mac I applaud you for righting some wrongs and trying to gain control of your fed but it's to little to late. You're far to deep in the Celtic Cunts pocket to ever fully get out. Maybe once I cleanse the FCPW of the Celtic virus you will make some good decisions. Nah who am I kidding you have the mental capacity of Eugene. This is only the start of my rise to power. It's going to be fucking glorious for me but an absolute disaster for anyone unlucky enough to be standing in my way.
Jonny opens a drawer on the desk and pulls put an ice pick. He stabs it between the eyes of Mac's picture. Jonny then knocks the chalk board over and unzips and takes a piss on all the pictures as the scene fades to black. |
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Post by The Celtic Club on Mar 30, 2021 20:09:20 GMT
The scene opened to Andy Donahue and Chris "Trigger" Cavanagh seated along the bench in a locker room. The two men were in the process of packing up their bags from their latest outside booking. Trigger took his wrestling boots and tossed them into his duffel bag, he zipped the bag and turned to Andy.
Hey, these jerk offs are following us on Gus Arnold's dime--maybe we should give them something worth giving him?
Why bother? Let that old fart waste his money I don't give a fuck as long as my pay checks keep clearing.
Well, I want to say a few things to those two shit heads we are going to face at Sunday Night Delight.
Alright, I guess I might as well join in then.
Andy and Trigger come together and give the cameras their full attention.
I gotta address a little something before I get right into the beef and potatoes of what I’ve got to say. Last two editions of Sunday Night Delight haven’t exactly gone the way that myself, Andy and John planned it going. Dank Sinatra makes his FCPW debut against me and who wins? Dank fucking Sinatra! Mac Dunney or Lou Natic decide that Jonny C is going to face off against me, who won that one? Fucking Jonny C—you have got to be kidding me right? Two shows in a row some jerkoff was able to keep my shoulders against the mat for the count of three! Unbelievelable!
That’s fucking right. At least I took care of business against those little gnats The Barnburners.
Yeah, Andy, good job against that little prick Chucky but let’s face it—that wasn’t much of a contest from the moment it was booked. Dank? Jonny? Those two have been places, they e don some things—Chucky is somebody who’s fresh out of an academy...some back water piece of trash who’s still green around the edges.
Do you think it would have really made a difference if he was trained a few years ago?
Trigger stared at Andy who smiled and flexed his right bicep.
I mean, I guess not—right? And that’s exactly the point that I’m trying to get at. A lose for any member of The Celtic Club is a shocker, it’s quite the surprise, it’s something that doesn’t tend to happen very frequently and yet here I stand, defeated by two different opponents on two different editions of Sunday Night Delight! It’s pathetic, I’m almost disgusted to look at myself in the mirror...almost.
Trigger and Andy laughed. Where the defeats bad? Yeah, Trigger hated to lose and John made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t happy with Trigger before they left the arena on Sunday Night—Trigger was out for blood, he had to rectify the situation.
Trig, don’t be so hard on yourself man—I know Johnnie was tight at the end of Delight but you know him—he can be a fucking hot head to the umpteenth degree.
Yeah, that’s the problem Andy Boy. Johnnie’s temper, it’s world famous—his temper’s reputation seems to proceed us everywhere we go...now that is truly saying something.
I’d say so—with all the shit you two have accomplished in this industry if his temper is more well known...
It means people who fuck up often wake up in a nightmare in their own reality. Now, here I stand...living that very nightmare.
How so?
You wouldn’t know it the way I know it. Don’t get me wrong, if you go out there and don’t get the job done you’re gonna hear it. You might be in the “dog house” for a bit. Fuck up too many times, Johnnie will just toss you out like a child with a broken toy—sounds shitty right?
Fuck yeah.
Now imagine the opposite—he can’t toss me to the side. I’m his flesh and blood—we share chromosomes, we come from the same gene pool...same mother, same father...he expects more of me than any other underling he may have. When I fail him, I’m not worried about catching a beating or worse like you have to worry about Andy Boy. I have to worry about that look.
What look?
Johnnie, he’s my big brother...he’s my best friend...and ever since our father became a guest of the State for the rest of his natural life...Johnnie’s also been a protector and almost a father in his own ways. He expects the world of me, he expects me to reach the same heights he is at and be just as successful as he is inside of the ring. He doesn’t need to bark at me, he doesn’t need to throw shit all over the place, fuck, he doesn’t even need to lay his hands on me. I can feel the disappointment in his stare the moment I get back to our locker room.
A stare? Disappointment? Come on Trig, I’d rather Johnnie be a little disappointed in me than have him standing over me pounding his fists into my face.
Well, then, it’s obvious to me that you don’t completely understand just where I’m coming from. Maybe you never had to feel that emptiness of disappointing someone who has had your back since you guys where little shits running the neighborhood streets together.
Maybe it’s because my father hasn’t been around since I was a kid.
Trigger paused, Andy’s father was always a touchy subject around the neighborhood. He left one day, he never came home, some where aware of the elder Donahue’s back story—some just knew he left one day...Andy didn’t even know the entire truth behind the story and as far as his grandfather and the Cavanagh family were concerned things were best left that way.
Oh fuck, yeah, you’re right—sorry man. But, you’re telling me your grandfather was never disappointed in you?
Andy thought for a moment, he pondered for a good five seconds or so before responding.
No, can’t say I have. Grandpa always wanted me to bust my ass in the gym and on the mat in high school—as long as I was doing that I was good win, lose or draw—mostly wins. Never had a problem once I started making collections for the Old Man either.
Well, that's the issue--disappointing someone that means something to you is a bitch. I barely held my head above water against Dank Sinatra and then Sunday night Jonny C practically made an exhibit of my ass. You might not get where I'm coming from but this shit sucks. Jonny C's bitch ass adding a little salt to the wound when he decided to load up and hit me in the face with my own brass knucks--that little pretty boy piece of shit is going to pay for that shit if its the last thing I do. I don't give a shit if its me, you or John but one of us or all of us is going to put that bastard into a hospital bed and teach him a god damn lesson.
Andy rubbed his hands together, a sick grin growing over his face.
I'll do it...I volunteer for that job, I'd love to shut that clown up once and for all.
Well, Andy Boy, you've got that opportunity and I've got the opportunity to save a little bit of face at the next Sunday Night Delight.
Tell me about it. This is our time to really show the rest of the FCPW boys that The Celtic Club is seriously the be all, end all of this promotion.
Well said...especially for a muscle head like yourself.
Trigger laughed, Andy didn't seem as amused at Trigger's comment but Andy had learned that in the life he was leading the moments of hazing were worth all of the education he was receiving.
Actually, Andy Boy, maybe you should give the folks at home and our opponents a nice little review of the highlights of Sunday Night Delight from our perspective and what they really meant.
Don't mind if I do Trig. Sunday Night Delight wasn't a win by any means, if I tried to play it off like that not only would I be lying but Johnnie wouldn't be happy--I'd kinda be contradicting what he told us after the show--but that doesn't mean we didn't have some missions accomplished.
I like to think the night was a little more positive than John but oh fucking well, here we are.
Trig.
Yeah, yeah, do what you gotta do.
Trigger turned his back, shaking his head as Andy continued.
First successful mission of the night came when I took that little gnat from The Barnburners and put that punk in his place. It was nothin', dude might have looked like he was having a little run of success but in the end he got lost in my sheer strength. Dude came flipping out of the air like some lucha libra shit but I caught him and drove his head down into the mat. That brings me to a point actually, Dank--I know you love to fly in the air but what a bitch is it gonna be when my muscle counters all of that momentum and brings your head down to the mat and you hear your neck crunching as it compresses? That's gonna hurt like hell man, hope you got enough bud to numb the pain but I don't think there's enough in the entire world. After I got done with that piece of shit--we decided the next thing we should do is take out the competition in the Tag Team Turmoil Match at April Annihilation. Trig and I are going to be the first Tag Team Champions but it can't hurt to further stack the odds in our own favors by taking out two of the teams that are lined up for the match in the first place. So, after I snapped Jay Vaughan's ankle like a twig--Jonny C and the douche bag I just beat made their way down to the ring like heroes. Some fucking heroes you guys were poor Jay Vaughan's career is probably over and all because Jonny and Jay were gonna try and get their hands on title belts that most certainly did not belong to them in the first place. Well, Jonny, I guess that gave you a little extra fire because you were able to find a way to lopsidedly defeat Trigger back there.
Trigger quickly turned back to the camera, pushed Andy by the shoulder and interjected himself.
Fuck you Jonny C! You want to prance around the ring with me on your shoulders like I'm nothing!? Like I'm so secondary after thought!? Like Trigger Cavanagh isn't a threat to your well being?! You will NEVER have the luxury AGAIN!!! DO YOU FUCKING COMPREHEND THE WORDS COMING FROM MY MOUTH?!?!?!
Andy couldn't believe it--he had never seen Trigger seething like this before. Andy pushed Trigger back a bit and patted him almost as if to say "it's ok man, I get it, its gonna be alright". Andy looked back to the camera and continued.
Anyway, like I was saying. Jonny C...
Don't say that name--he's a fucking deadman!
Trigger stared deeply into the camera, his eyes void of all expression and then, without warning, Trigger stormed off of the screen. Andy looked on as Trigger walked away, he was stunned in silence for a few moments before he shook his head and remembered why he was there in the first place.
Well, Jonny, you can see the side effects of your bullshit...can't you? Jonny you pinned Trigger--maybe we lit a fire under your ass when you lost against Johnnie, maybe it was me taking your buddy Jay out of action for the foreseeable future. I don't know what it was and I truly don't give a fuck--all that matters to me is that at this Sunday Night Delight...I do to you, what you did to Trig. When I get my hands on you and your fake rock star persona I will gladly toss you around the squared circle like a fucking rag doll. I'll pick you up in my arms and do curls with you to show you just how little of a threat you pose to me...and by extension just how little of a threat you pose to the FCPW Canadian Championship. Dank, Jonny--you guys ever team together? Nah, I didn't think so. This ain't gonna be tough for Trig and I--as long as Johnnie and I can pull him out from underneath the deep end we are going to take all of the momentum you two have built up and bulldoze over it.
Andy walks off as the scene cuts to static.
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Post by JonnyFNC on Mar 31, 2021 21:31:48 GMT
The scene opens to Jonny C slapping a Tommy gun down on the counter of a gun range.
Clerk - You want to rent this?
Jonny - Sure do I got some target practice I need to do.
Clerk - OK perfect let me get ammo all loaded up and you can meet me upstairs at the range.
Jonny - Perfect.
Clerk - Oh do you need any targets?
Jonny turns and smiles at the camera.
Jonny - No I'm good man I brought my own thanks.
Clerk - OK awesome follow me and we will get you all set up in lane 4 upstairs.
Jonny and the store clerk walk upstairs to the range. Jonny takes lane 4. He presses the button and brings the target hanger to his booth. He takes out a blown up picture of Trig and hooks it to the clips and sends it down the range.
Jonny - Andy and Trig look how cute you guys are. You even do your promos together. Can I be the best man at your wedding? You literally can't do anything alone can you? I mean I know you're cowards and all but it's almost like you knew the promo would lack substance if you did it alone. I argue it lacks substance even with the both of you braindead morons in it but hey what do I know right? Do you hold each others dicks when you piss, or lick eachothers assholes clean after taking a shit? Bunch of sissy boys you are that's for sure. Again I don't need anyone to help me make my promo longer or better. I relay on my own talents for that. Must be hard for you 2 though having no talent at all. OH SICK BURN
Jonny puts the drum mag into the Tommy Gun and let's it rip. He unloads all 30 rounds into the picture of Trig. He holds the button and brings it closer. The picture is completely destroyed.
Jonny - Trig lots of tough talk coming from you bitch. How are you supposed to be taken as a serious threat when week after week you lay on the mat like a cheap hooker. You're an absolute joke Trig. It's plain as day man everyone can see it. You started this man don't you ever forget that. You made this about far more than that bullshit title. You decided that since your embarrassment of a brother was going to lose you needed in insert yourself in the match. I had absolutely no idea who you where prior to that. I had no beef with any of you but you made it personal, again you asked for this Trig never forget that. You can run your mouth all you want but never forget what happens when you stand in the ring with me one on one. You fell like the Roman empire bro. A true fucking pussy when push came to shove you barely got any offense in and looked like a fish out of water. Further cementing the fact that you're a little bitch boy riding the coattails of your brother.
Jonny tears off what remains of the picture of Trig and throws it away. He pulls out a blown up picture of Andy DonaWHO and hooks it up then sends it down the range.
Jonny - You said you want to see me end up in the hospital. That's fucking great coming from you. No one in your little crew has the capability of doing that. We aren't even in the same league, no its like we aren't even playing the same game. You also said yourself, Andy or Jon should take me out. You know you suck so hard you can't do it so you enlisted your asshole alliance to help. Though I guess it would be hard to have confidence in yourself when you're on your back more than an immigrant who is being sexualy trafficked. Here's a fun fact Trig I'm not going to pay for a god damn thing. You can talk all the shit you want and claim you will make me pay for that beating I gave you but you yourself know it's not true. You said it yourself homie you can't even look at yourself in the mirror. Pathetic fucking asshole licking pussy boy. Such a joke you said one of us or all of us because you know just how incapable you are of doing anything alone. Already planning to need back up.
Jonny slams another drum mag into the Tommy guy and aims it down range. Once more he fires through all 30 rounds completely destroying the picture of Andy.
Jonny - Andy over here volunteering to take me out like that's a thing he could do. Andy you're like male nipples man, we have them yes but not needed at all. You add nothing and never will. If you died of aids tomorrow no one would know, let alone care you where gone. You want to show everyone you got big balls that's all fine and well becasue I'm ready for you. I don't even need to reach my final form to take you out. I could hit the bar hard the night before and get hammered and then get no sleep and still walk to that ring and beat you to an inch of your life. You're the least important part of FCPW and I'm here to show the whole world that. You said it's your time to show everyone that the celtic cunts are the end all be all. Are you fucking serious man. I have exposed you guys as a true fucking joke. No one takes any of you serious anymore. I have shown the world how you got to where you are. It's not hardwork its all politics. You assclowns have sucked your way to the top. Sexual favors and ass kissing to the brass to put you guys into the main event spots. I started at the bottom and worked my ass off to get where I am. I'm not the golden boy here I have kissed no ass and there is no brown on my nose. You on the other hand look like Robert Downy Jr from Tropic thunder asshole.
Jonny laughs to himself. He holds the button down and brings the target back to his booth. He takes what's left of the picture of Andy and throws it away. He places the Tommy gun down and grabs a sip of water.
Jonny - Andy yes you took out Jay. But let's be honest here for a quick second OK pal. He didn't do one promo for his match sooooooooo you took out someone who gave no fucks about first class. Apparently you haven't been paying attention to me at all. Taking out Jay was a god send to me boy. I didn't want to be in the bullshit tag tournament anyway. I'm not a tag team guy I'm a ONE MAN DYNASTY. I fly solo and don't play well with others. Unlike you who plays well with everyone. You fucking whore. You say I hit that ring to late, I disagree with you. I don't need to make the save for my friends. If he can't handle things himself that's on him not me. I ran to the ring only because I wanted to put a steel chair to your fucking skull. But as I predicted you ran away like a true coward. What will it take to make anyone of you fight me like men. Trig couldn't even go one whole match without trying to cheat. Taking Jay out definitely pissed me off more Andrew you're right. Why would you want to do that mother fucker you couldn't handle me before. I was all over you like white on rice prior and you went and made it more personal to me. I guess you guys really do have a fucking death wish. I've never killed anyone before but I can't imagine it's all that hard didn't your boy Jon allude to being a murderer or something?
Jonny takes out a picture of Jon Cavanagh holding the Canadian Championship. He hangs it on the target hooks and sends it down the range. He slaps another drum mag into the Tommy gun.
Jonny - Trig looks like I struck a nerve with you didn't I. Did I break you bro cause you look broken down now. A toy that should be returned. Good I'm glad your pissed Trig I want you angry. I want you at your fucking best in that ring. I want you to give me all you got next week so I can show you it's still not good enough. Come at me with your best and I will laugh and put you down again. I will absolutely dance and prance around with you on my shoulders again. Why you may ask yourself, because I can. My sole purpose here is to hurt and embarrass you Trig and it would appear that I have. Funny you called me a Deadman cause you don't have the talent or balls to actually challenge me. I showed the world that last Sunday night. Trig you're a joke, a pussy, a bitch, a clown, a piss ant, a jabroni, a piece of shit should I keep going Trig. I got a million more man it's just so easy with you cause you just flat out suck assholes.
Jonny opens fire and once again sends 30 rounds into the target completely destroying the picture of Jon. He smiles and lays the gun down and brings the target back to his booth. He takes off the remains of the picture and throws them away.
Jonny - Andrew let's get a few things stright OK. There are so called side effects to my actions. What could they be I hurt your feelings and you will try and fail to take me out. Come on man you can't honestly think you are good enough to do that. Also Jon never beat me. You may say he did but he didn't beat me. He won the match yes but he didn't beat me. He can't beat me thats why your little boyfriend had to get involved. He needed to save Jon from me becasue I was taking that title. Jon knows he can't beat me. Why do you think he demanded that Dank and I run this little gauntlet before the triple treat and he doesn't have a match on the card. He gets to rest and hope his pussy patrol weaken us a bit so it's easier on him. I see right through the bullshit. Andrew the only side-effects you should be worried about are the ones trig brought down on you. That side effect is Jonny C. You talk a real good game Andrew but talk is cheap. You have never faced a challenge like me that I can promise you right now. You got a big ego off of beating a bunch of loser no names. What kind of rep is that man you can't be proud of that.
Jonny smiles and laughs a bit then pulls put a picture of FCPW President and owner Mac Dummy and hangs it on the target hooks. He presses the button and sends it back down into the range again.
Jonny - so Andrew you want to do to me what I did to Trig huh. I want to see try man cause I promise it's not going to end well for you at all. You asked if Dank and I are even going to team together well Sherlock glad you watched my first promo. So apparently sucking in the ring and paying zero attention to your opponent go hand and hand now. The new rules Mac talked about didn't kick in yet not that I will follow them in any way, shape, or form as it is because I'm not going to at all. I do what I want when I want and to me rules are meant to be broken. You could have responded to me Andrew but you made the choice not to. I see that as you not being able to respond. You can't refute anything I say because it's all fucking true. Every last word I have said about you and Trig is 100% Fact that's why you just ignored my promo. I even did you a favor and got my promo on the air first becasue I knew you would need the extra help. That's how confident I am that you 2 bitches are a non issue.
Jonny aims the Tommy down down range and let's it rip again. He is laughing and yelling fuck your rules Mac. He completely destroys the picture of Mac hanging on the target hook. He brings it back to his booth and throws the remains away.
Jonny - I am already looking through you and on to your "fearless leader." Also you guys seem like battered wives. All you seem to care about it of you're letting Jon down. Oh no Jon won't be happy about that, how will Jon feel about us losing, Bah God Jon will throw us out if we don't step our games up. It's 2021 guys you can come forward and call him on that. It's clear that he may be #MeTooing you guys. Blink twice next time you guys are on camera if you need help. Such assholes you're being cucked by a stupid potato eating fuck stick. God you guys are sad. Maybe me beating you lifeless will help you get away from Jon. Clearly it's a toxic relationship within the Celtic Cunts. Maybe I was sent by a Devine power to save you guys from Jon. He is your Cuck, your mistress, and your brutal wife beating husband I can sew that now. Let me save you guys. Let me help you see the light.
Jonny takes out a picture of Dank Sinatra and hangs in on the hooks. He sends it down the range. He slams a new drum mag into the Tommy gun and opens fire on the picture of his partner next Sunday night delight. He has a sadistic smile the whole time.
Jonny - Maybe just maybe you will acknowledge this things I said here today but who knows. Now go ahead and tell everyone you are ignoring me becssue I don't matter and what I'm saying isn't true. I fucking dare you. You're fucking pants will light on fire with that lie. Every single God damn thing I have said about you is true. You can try to ignore me but I'm bringing the fight to you next week on Sunday night delight. Try to ignore me in the ring guys please because it would make my life a whole lot easier. Not that I need your help in doing that you fucking blowjobs. You're both insignificant peons who don't matter it's sad you can't see that. Don't worry I will help you see how little you matter.
Jonny brings the target back in and removes the remains of Danks picture and throws them away. He grabs one last blown up picture. This time it's the FCPW logo. He hangs it from the hooks and sends it down into the range as the scene fades to black. |
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Post by The Celtic Club on Apr 6, 2021 22:50:38 GMT
The FCPW Network opened to Chris “Trigger” Cavanagh and Andy Donahue standing in the middle of a dimly lit bar. There were no other people at this bar but due to the friendly confines we knew that this was home base of the Cavanagh crew in Hell's Kitchen, New York. Trigger and Andy stood in The Blarney Stone, a fully stocked bar stood directly behind them, booths against the walls and Irish decor throughout.
You believe this piece of shit Andrew?
Who? Jonny C?
Yeah that guy. The kid looks like a never has been, wannabe rockstar and he’s sitting here trying to hurl insults at us?
And what about that fried egg of a partner he’s gotta deal with this Delight?
Oh, Dank Sinatra? The guy that came in with all that buzz—the guy that Jonny’s gonna be facing off against in that Triple Threat when John retains his Canadian Championship at April Annihilation?
Yeah, that burn out.
Seems them bastards got quite a bit in common with one another…don’t they?
Yeah. Canadian Championship challengers.
Tag team partners.
Both of them beat you…
Trigger shot an enraged look across to Andy.
You’re fucking kidding me right?
Andy shrugged his shoulders.
Sorry Trig, I just couldn’t resist man.
And…they’re both going to be defeated by The Celtic Club at this Sunday Night Delight…right?
Ex-ac-ta-fucking-ly.
Trigger paused thinking of the way that Andy decided to say “exactly”. He shook off the thoughts in his head about “all brawn and no brain”.
Now, Andy Boy, let me take care of the talking from here on out. You just stand there—flex or something…I guess.
I mean, I’m pretty fucking good at that.
Andy began to flex his forearms and stare towards the camera as Trigger looks on dumbfounded.
Andy…sit down, I wasn’t fucking serious.
Trigger shook his head before returning the camera and continuing.
Jonny and Dank—before I get too far into any of that usual Cavanagh “gift of gab” shit that we are so famous for…I just want to point out the one tidbit of information about this match that I love. Jonny C’s pure love and admiration of his partner Dank Sinatra. It’s always so inspiring to see two singles stars thrust together into the heat of tag team competition and successfully working together as a cohesive unit. Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? You and Dank, like you said yourself, will never coexist. Now, let’s make this clear—I know that this matchup isn’t your top concern Jonny, and I’m pretty certain it isn’t Dank’s top priority either. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t blame either of you for looking past this match to April Annihilation and your triple threat for Johnnie’s Canadian Championship. That’s the pinnacle of success here in First Class Pro Wrestling so obviously that would be both of your goal—the only problem for both of you is that John Cavanagh has that championship and even though you guys may have both been able to pin my shoulders to the mat, you still have to get through Andy and I prior to the pay-per-view.
Trigger laughed and started to motion for championship gold around his waste.
Jonny, we all know that your mind is on your “victory” at April Annihilation at taking the Canadian Championship from my brother and I’m sure Dank Sinatra is ripping a bong somewhere with the same exact delusions of grandeur in his mind. Well, let me point on something to both of you morons—there are two future champions in the main event at this edition of Sunday Night Delight and neither of them are Jonny C or Dank Sinatra. The Odd Couple can keep thinking whatever they want but they should start to take The Celtic Club a bit more seriously as you two morons will be sharing the ring with the future first ever FCPW Tag Team Champions. This right here…
Trigger pointed to Andy and then pointed back to himself.
Andy Donahue and Chris Cavanagh—we are a team, we are a unit and we are one hundred percent prepared to tear the heads off of both of you little shits. Jonny C, you can sit around and sling your little insults that you think are so clever…Mac Dummie, Celtic Cunts…real fucking original Jonny. The Celtic Virus? You must be one of those people who think the pandemic we are in is “The China Virus”. Mudslinging names around because its the only thing you’re actually quasi-talented at…very fucking cute, buddy. I could call you Jonnny Cunt for the rest of my allocated promo time but you’d probably try and sue me for gimmick infringement. Not that I give a damn about a day in court, but, I’d rather not have to pay for another year of my attorney’s kids’ college tuition.
Trigger and Andy both laughed for a moment.
Jonny, Jonny, all I gotta say is that at least someone around here has the balls to call us out, regardless of how false your statements may be. You are really fucking full of yourself, worse than me—shit I’m almost pissed my brother compared your personality to mine. Don’t get me wrong Jonny, I know I’m a good looking guy with plenty of charisma and a whole shit ton of talent and I know sometimes that rubs people the wrong way but holy shit man! I’ve never heard someone so full of themselves. I’m not that bad, am I Andy?
Andy thought for a moment and shook his head back and forth to say “no” although the look on his face suggested that Andy may think Trigger is just as full of himself as Jonny C.
That’s what I thought. You really think you’re on your way to dismantling The Celtic Club? How are you going to dismantle us exactly? What…by beating me in a match? By “beating” us on Sunday all by your lonesome? The world is a harsh, harsh place Jonny…being alone—it’s usually not a good thing.
Andy laughed.
You’re welcome for that shithead.
Oh yeah, that’s right! Your little butt buddy Jay Vaughan—aw, poor guy! Maybe this is where you should talk a little bit Andy.
Andy smiled and stepped in front of Trigger as Trigger fell back.
Yeah, why the fuck not. Poor Jonny’s best friend—he had to get dealt with. Jonny, you can sit there and call me a coward all you want but words don’t mean shit. You can talk your bullshit all you want between now and Sunday Night Delight—it ain’t affecting shit. You wanna try and use your words to get into our heads? Ain’t gonna happen! I took your little friend Jay Vaughan and I snapped his fucking ankle like a god damn twig. Would have done the same shit to that Barnburner douche bag but you and your momentary friend had to come down to “save the day”. I’m calling bullshit on that too! You didn’t come down to save the day. You came down at the last moment possible. So convenient that you happened to hit the ring right after I ended your friend’s career. You’re one hell of a shitty friend, my guy. Jonny C…you wanna sit there and call us cunts? You think you’re gonna beat “Asshole Andy’? You think you’re gonna put your hands on Shannon? You think you’re gonna win that Canadian Championship from Johnnie Boy? You must be smoking that shit that your partner Dank Sinatra has been smoking to think you’re built like that, punk.
Trigger stepped next to Andy and the two men grinned at the camera as the scene cut to static.
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Post by JonnyFNC on Apr 7, 2021 17:35:14 GMT
The scene opens to a podium with reporters sitting around it. Jonny C walks out wearing a suit. He is holding a stack of paper work inside of a folder. He walks up to the podium and lays his notes down. He clears his throat.
Jonny - First and foremost I wasn't to address my "partner" this week Mr. No Talent 1 promo deadline poster Dank Sinatra. Thank fucking christ I don't need your help to dispatch of these so called wrestlers. You know it completely boggles my mind that you are kept in the main event scene around here. You barely show up and post right before deadline. It's bullshit man. You got JT and Eron going fucking off on eachother putting on one hell of a showing. God I can't wait to see them lock up at delight. Outside of me of course JT and Eron are stealing the show and putting in maximum effort but they aren't hand picked golden boys. Look at the women we got here, Harris, Taylor and we can't forget the queen on social media Thicc Vic. They are bring it to every single fucking show we have. Every week we are all out here cutting promos and busting our asses to get better yet here you are sucking it up in the top spot Dank. I got no issues calling you out on it Dank. I prey to God I piss of Mac and Cav your best friends because fuck you and both of them.
Jonny grabs a bottle of water from under the podium and takes a big sip.
Jonny - Dank you're a joke who clearly doesn't take this overly serious. But I guess since all of us didn't fucking grow up with Mac and Cav (minus one key player) we are judged far more harsh than you. Since you are close with them and worked in other feds with them you're allowed to slack and barely participate and are given a fucking title shot. I swear to God I have no idea how Mac hasn't run this so called fed out of business. This place is clearly crashing and burning hard because Mac allows fucking doorknobs like you Dank to do almost nothing and continue to get pushed to the moon. Mac do you have special needs or something because that's the only explanation for all this bullshit. I guess the old saying it pays to know people should be the tag line for FCPW right.
Jonny grabs his folder of notes and opens it up and moves a few things around on the podium.
Jonny - Now then onto the celtic cunts. I saw your last little "promo" if thats what you want to call it. I found it really hard to differentiate between your first and second though because to me they where the exact same thing. You unoriginal and uninspired fucks. If I played them next to eachother they would almost be identical. Since you clearly are paying no attention to anything I say and trying to spin your own narrative I took some notes on things I wanted to say. I'm actually shocked your pants didn't explode into flames with the amount of lies you told. Maybe you think they are truth but I'm here to show everyone how delusional you 2 assholes really are.
Jonny grabs his first paper of notes. He holds it up to read it. The back of the paper facing the camera reads Trigger has a vagina.
Jonny - You said and I quote "the kid looks like a never has been wannabe Rockstar sitting here trying to hurl insults." Funny because that's the same insult you used in the first promo and it didn't land then so you doubled down and tried it again. Trig you brainless retard. I find it a little suspect that you keep commenting on my looks man. I think you might have a little school yard crush on me or something. Seems you have really studied me and really care about how I look. Well this alleged wannabe rock star beat your fucking ass last week. Also the last thing I would ever do is care about how my opponent looks. I guess when you can't talk shit on my level you resort to kindergarten insults. Secondly I am not trying to hurl insults at you at all. I'm speaking stright facts. Everything I have said about you is 100% true in every way.
Jonny laughs and crumples up his first note and yells Kobe and shoots it to the trash can missing wildly. He picks up another sheet this one reads Andrew Sucks Trigg.
Jonny - You 2 fucking blowjobs are overly concerned about how Dank and I will work as a team. You said Dank and I have alot in common. Are you fucking serious guys. Come on Dank and I couldn't be more different. I give a fuck about wrestling and I would never pollute my body the way Dank does. I have already stated many times I will not work with Dank. I see our match at delight as a triple threat match. You 3 vs me becasue I'm the true one man dynasty in fcpw and don't need anyone help taking out trash. Yes that's right you guys are all trash. I'm fully aware that your bitch boy leader pulled some strings to team Dank and I up against you guys. I'm aware he wants us to take eachother out before the title fight. The only real issue with John's plan is that you 2 bitches can't get the job done. I will easily beat both of you and lay a beating into Dank before I leave the ring Sunday night.
Jonny folds the paper into a paper airplane and flies it into the sea of reporters. He picks up another sheet. This one reads John Cavanagh = Coward.
Jonny - You said there are 2 future champions in this match and I'm not one of them. You also state that we need to take the Celtic cunts seriously.
Jonny stops reading and begins to laugh really hard. He grabs a tissue and wipes tears from his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths.
Jonny - Oh man that's just hysterical. I couldn't get through it without laughing I'm sorry guys. I will try and get through this I promise. You guys really think either one of you is a future champion. That's fucking great. You're Bush league at best guys, 2 pathetic jokes riding the coattails of a bigger coward. There is nothing about you that makes me think of either of you as a serious threat. You sneak attack people, you cheat to win and you gang up on people. That's what I like to refer to as being a giant pussy. Neither you Trigg or Andrew posses the amount of skill needed to become a champion or to beat me. It's actually quite funny how you guys have convinced yourselves you are anything more than 2 bitches. The least serious threat in the FCPW if you ask me. Watch our match from last week Trigg if you want to see how serious you are taken. You tried to cheat and still couldn't win clown.
Jonny rips the paper up into a bunch on tiny pieces and throws them in the air yelling make it rain. He grabs another sheet this one reads MAC CAN'T PROMOTE HIS WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG.
Jonny - Trigg you said something correct in that rant of verbal diarrhea you call a promo. You refered to yourself and Andrew as a couple of Units. That's absolutely correct you guys are some of the biggest units I have ever seen. Suck my unit trig you should be well practiced seeing as how it's exactly how you got to where you are in FCPW isn't it? Seems you really like my insults you remembered every single thing I said about you. You forgot everything else but my insults landed and that makes me happy. No of course I don't refer to this pandemic as the China Virus. I'm not a low life peice of shit like you man. You just hand to slip some politics in there didn't you. Really hammering home how you're super political in all facets of your life. You need the politics to survive don't you. You could never get over without them right?
Jonny throws the paper in the air yelling NEXT. He grabs another sheet this one reading Trig is Delusional.
Jonny - Trig hold on for one second here man. You said in your promo that you have a shit ton of talent. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU HIDING THAT. All I have seen from you is a sneak attack on me, a L to Dank and another L to me. Where is this talent you speak of. Is it the talent of pulling weapons out of your tights because you can't simply wrestle your way to victory. You saw what happened when you tired that. I took the knux from you like Debo mother fucker. To further embarrass you I didn't even use them till after I beat you stright up. I don't need to resort to cheap wins Trig because I have real talent. If your looking for talent just take a good long hard look at me. I know you already do man commenting on how I look and shit you fucking weirdo. Jonny Cunt huh trig, again you're an unoriginal pile of dog shit. I used cunt to describe you many times already and thats best you got on me.
Jonny laughs to himself and smiles.
Jonny - You could have gone with Jonny C-ant wrestle, Jonny C-ock sucker, Jonny C-um guzzler but no you went with what I'm using. You can't even come up with your own insults. You really can't stand on your own 2 feet like a man at all can you. Thank god you got The Celtic Cocksuckers around you or you would be homeless and hungry. Always remember that you asked for this Trig. You jumped into that ring and make it personal and asked me to unload on you. You me mear moments away from taking away your meal ticket and jumped to action.
Jonny takes a small ticket out of his folder and holds it up. The camera zooms in on it. It has a picture of John Cavanagh on it and it says meal ticket.
Jonny - Notice it doesn't have your face on it Trig. You're a fucking nobody that no one cares about. Your brother clearly cares enough to drag you around and take care of you becasue you can't do it for yourself. Yes I do plan to dismantle your little girl scout troop. I did start by taking you out. Then I will take you out again but this time along with Andrew. Then I'm going to take that title away from John. I'm sure he will get an immediate rematch for the title because that's how it works here (Cav gets what Cav wants) than I beat his ass again. I can and will do it all alone. Unlike your bitch ass I don't need a crew behind me. I am a one man fucking wrecking crew Trigger. I will stand in that ring with every single one of you and drop you all becasue you all suck. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE REAL ONE MAN DYNASTY. fuck you Trig, and Andy and John. Not Shannon though she has been fucked enough I don't want the HIV.
Jonny tears up the paper and simply drops it onto the ground. He grabs one more out and holds it up to read it. This one says Shannon Has Aids
Jonny - You said and I quote "Holy shit man, I have never seen someone so full of themselves." I'm not full of myself Trig. I just know my worth. I back up every single thing I say in that ring. I'm better than you and Andy in every conceivable way. It's not bragging if you back it up mother fucker. (Thanks for the quote Osh) I am a fucking Devine being compared to you 2 panty wastes. You pose zero threat to me physically and mentally. You talk about my little butt buddy Jay like I need him by my side. Yeah we are boys but we have a very good understanding of how shit works. We don't get involved in eachothers shit because neither of us needs the help. Don't worry about Jay though he has moved on to a much better place. He is making Words Collide and doing bigger things than you bitches will ever do.
Jonny makes an origami crane out of the paper and says fly little buddy and flicks it from the podium. He grabs one last peice of paper. He holds it up and it reads Andrew DonaBOO. He looks at it and smiles and laughs at its juvenile nature.
Jonny - Andy DonaBOO I really out did my self that one silly little name didn't I. Wow Andy I'm glad you found your voice for 11 seconds in the whole promo. I guess that makes you the bottom huh. Or do you prefer catcher, I'm not sure how that all works. You're really proud of yourself for taking Jay out aren't you. It's like that's the greatest thing you have ever done in your piss poor career. I'm not trying to use my words to get into your head. I don't need to be in your head to beat you. But I am in your heads. It's evident I live there rent free reguardless of what you say. Its really funny how you are trying to paint me as the bad guy here. You guys inserted yourselves into my life. I was perfectly content winning that title and defending it weekly but no you assholes couldn't have that at all. You came after me now play wounded dog when I fire back.
Jonny crumples the last piece of paper and drops it into the trash can. He holds up the folder and it has pictures of everyone in the celtic crew on it along with Dank.
Jonny - I do also find it funny I am being run through the ringer every single week and where the fuck is John at. Yeah he had a bullshit tag match with Fuck yeah Fiona last week but we all know why that was booked. Who's Fiona friends with ha ha ha. He hasn't defended that title since he cheated to beat me. What a fucking joke this place is. Funny John isn't on the card this week. He told Mac in bed last week hey leave me off so I can rest and prepare the the the title match but make sure Jonny has a match. Granted it's not a hard match because Andy and Trig are fucking jokes but it's funny to me John is off. Some Champion you are John. This is exactly why I'm the Face of Professional Wrestling. I am on every single card for every single show because I'm the best to ever step foot in a wrestling ring. Dank see you Friday night around 10 or so when you decided to show your stoned face. Andy, Trig I have said all I'm allowed to say. Time for the talking to stop. It's time for me to back everything I have said up. See you bitches in the ring.
Jonny holds up folder with all the pictures on it and lights it on fire and drops it into the trash can. He laughs and leaves the conference room as the scene fades to black. |
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Post by The Celtic Club on Apr 10, 2021 1:47:46 GMT
The FCPW cameras opened up to Trigger Cavanagh and Andy Donahue seated across from one another inside of Andy’s grandfather’s gym in Hell’s Kitchen.
I’m getting sick and tired of hearing this pathetic shit Jonny C flap his gums about us.
Oh fuck that cock sucker. Let him sit there and run his mouth all he wants. The guy thinks he’s hot shit because he won a battle royal over a god damn month ago.
Piece of shit man. He’s starting to strike a nerve. You hear what he said about me and dying of AIDS? Like no one would even notice I was here.
Andy spat on the floor in disgust. The veins in Andy’s arms bulged as he brought his hand to his face.
I don’t know if I can wait the whole way to Sunday Night Delight, Trig. This pretty boy already crossed the fucking line—he’s gotta be put down.
Andy motioned his left hand in the shape of a pistol. Trigger looked and began to laugh.
Look, regardless of how much I’d like to prove to the entire world just how small Jonny C’s brain is this ain’t that deep—not even close. Fucking guy over here—guy insults you a little bit and instead of pounding the piss outta him in the ring on Sunday you wanna go hunt him down and clip him.
Dickhead ain’t gonna be able to talk anymore shit if I do that.
Talk is cheap, let the bastard keep running his mouth all day and all night if that’s what he wants to do. Who gives a shit? It’s water—let it roll off of your back, man.
I don’t get why you’re so level headed about this shit. Guy beat you in the ring, guy talks shit about both of us, about John, about the Canadian Championship…
Trigger looked at Andy and shrugged his shoulders.
And? Yeah, he pinned me—fuck him that’s the new highlight of his career. He caught me on a bad day, I was slipping…same as the Delight prior against Dank “I Got So High I Forgot I Have A Match” Sinatra. Sometimes we have off days…sometimes we fall flat on our fucking face. It is what it is—I couldn’t let the last two defeats ruin every aspect of my life until I got a win again. Time to pick up that win at Delight because there is no way in hell Jonny C and Dank Sinatra can defeat us in a tag team match.
I don’t even give a fuck if we win anymore. All I want to do is hurt Jonny C. I wanna take that little prick and swing him around the ring by his bleach blonde hair. I wanna pick that bastard up and hit him with a few Tricolors and then give him an Irish Car Bomb—maybe two, fuck it three of them for good god damn measure. I’ll snap that little piece of shit’s neck like a god damn twig!
By this point Andy’s skin had turned a bright red, his veins were popping out all over his body and he was staring off as if he were in a trance.
Shit….well, this ain’t good. Andy, its gonna be alright…we really should win this one though, no?
You said it yourself—sometimes everyone has a bad day. I’m fine with not winning this one, I’m fine with us having a bad day together…it ain’t like we need the god damned winner’s purse…this is gonna be different. I think Johnnie will be proud of us after Delight even if one of us winds up with our shoulders pinned to the mat.
I don’t know about that Andy. Those last two loses have left a foul taste in my mouth. I’m not saying that I “need” to win this match but it would certainly help a guy out a bit. Also, maybe we pin Jonny C and that shuts that prick up for a little bit. Wouldn’t that make you happy? Pin that loudmouth and put him in his place at Delight?
Andy thought about it for a moment. He thought about having their names announced as the winners, hand raised, Jonny C laying on the mat and then probably rolling out of the ring and….walking back up the ramp?
FUCK THAT NOISE! I took his buddy Jay Vaughan and I broke his ankle. Jonny wants to sit there and pretend like Jay Vaughan didn’t give a shit—he seemed like he gave a shit in that match. I ended his only “friends” career…Jay Vaughan ain’t coming back and I’m about to go right ahead and do the same fucking thing with Jonny C. I am not letting that bastard walk up that ramp way to the locker room come the end of Sunday Night Delight!
I mean, I guess it’s good to have goals in life, right?
Andy’s serious demeanor changed momentarily. He chuckled and a small smirk grew on his face.
Yeah, you’re right Trig. It is good to have goals in life. Just sucks when you’re going to be the piece of shit that has to deal with the consequences of my goal.
Yeah, that’s gonna be a rough night for the guy that calls himself “infamous”. The sad fucking part about it is that promo after promo all Jonny C wants to do is call us “stupid” and make a mockery of our intelligence…he wants to say we use, what was it…kindergarten insults? Man, I wish that I was the first person to ever think to replace the word “Club” with the word “Cunt” or call another guy a blowjob. Talk about originality? Pants bursting aflame from lies? Oh my, aren’t we so original and hurling those lovely nursery school insults. Jonny C the true “One Man Dynasty” of First Class Pro Wrestling…let me “get on your level” kid—liar, liar pants on fire!
Riding coattails? Is this guy for fucking real? Riding coattails implies that we don’t do a god damned thing. Last I checked we are about to become the first ever FCPW Tag Team Champions. Last I checked we are about to be the two guys that tear Jonny C and Dank Sinatra apart limb by limb.
Ain’t that the fucking truth. Jonny thinks he’s so brave—“it’s a triple threat match”—are you kidding me man? This is a TAG TEAM match. You don’t like your tag team partner? Oh, poor baby! Maybe you should have been a bit more proactive in saving that weak little maggot that used to hang around the locker room with you.
He can’t team with Dank—the emotional little man has some kind of moral vendetta against the guy because he smokes a little weed.
Yeah, I mean…I didn’t really see that one coming. What the hell is Jonny C some kind of straight edge freak?
I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I just want to see how many times I can drives his spine into a ring post before he’s a a quadriplegic.
Trigger began to laugh.
I’m not fucking around anymore Trig! I was playing the nice guy a bit, fucking around with you about losing two matches last time these cameras where on us but to hell with that shit. It’s time to be serious. It’s time for The Heir Apparent to defend the kingdom. Jonny C wants to think that he’s the guy who’s going to dethrone Johnnie and take the Canadian Championship from The Celtic Club? I’ll take care of him…I’ll end that little shit talkers’ disease.
Disease? Andy what you been doing? Extra homework? Guy likes to talk about AIDS and shit so much—what does he have it? I don’t wanna be in the ring with some guy with that shit.
No he’s got this thing called oral diarrhea and the only solution is for someone to break the overconfident douche bag’s jaw.
Overconfident is one thing. Everyone in this industry is overconfident. But honestly, Jonny C is the worst type of person. A smart ass, know it all who is actually has the mental capacity of a goldfish.
Andy looked at Trigger and arched his eyebrows.
Trig, I ain’t arguing or nothin’ like that but how did you come to that conclusion?
He asked why we are always doing things together. What the fuck kind of a question is that? Doesn’t he get that we are a tag team—a TEAM…not two guys who are aiming for the stars with regards to the Canadian Championship tossed together by a feeble minded old man!
He’s too busy making paper airplanes.
Trigger laughed but Andy looked at him with a puzzled look on his face.
How is that funny?
Back to the kindergarten shit. I guess he is a fifth-grader waiting for his teacher to turn around to throw his paper airplane. Litttttllllleee guuuuuyyyyyy!!!! He must have been crying for attention his entire life and now that someone will give him a little camera and microphone time he has his platform, now he knows there are some poor marks out there eating up every word that comes out of his mouth.
Yeah, school yard insults. DonaWHO, DonaBOO? Come the fuck on guy! You really want to complain about our originality? Get a grip on reality man!
Trigger shook his head.
Poor guy is delusional Andy. He thinks his insults matter, he thinks he can beat us without a partner, he thinks he’s going to be the Canadian Champion—come on, the guy must think he’s sitting on Jupiter right now or be a Flat Earther or some shit.
Yeah, you’re right Trig. I don’t know why the fuck I let that dickhead get under my skin before with his bullshit.
That’s all it is—bullshit.
We’re going to hurt him still though, right Trig?
I mean, this is wrestling—we are getting paid to put our hands on another human being…legally.
Andy rubbed his hands together.
This bastard is going to be lucky if he can walk into April Annihilation for that triple threat match forget about winning that match.
Hey, let’s not forget about Dank though.
If that dude decides to show up at Delight, which would be a bad idea, I’ll flatten him like a pancake.
Hey, maybe come the end of Delight…Johnnie won’t have any opponents left for April Annihilation.
Andy smiled.
Worse things could happen.
The screen cut to static.
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Post by "Blazed Up" Dank Sinatra on Apr 10, 2021 3:16:08 GMT
Hey, babe...you ready for the trip?
Oh yeah baby girl, of course the Dankster is ready to take this trip up north.
Good, good, that is one hell of an improvement from last Sunday Night Delight.
Hey, the Dankster may have forgotten he had a match but we still prevailed in the end.
That you did, and I am sure John Cavanagh is still seething over it.
If anyone, in the history of the world, ever needed a good Jimmy or bongski it is definitely that Cavanagh guy. Ever since I ran into him in the Empire Wrestling Federation I knew that guy had anger issues. He just seems hell bent on showing everyone that he happens to be the toughest bastard on Earth...not really sure if he got that belief right but whatever.
You might be right on that one, babe. I am still wondering how that Shannon Riley girl deals with that asshole and his little gang of followers.
Maybe she is one of those women who are addicted to power and think that John can bring her that power.
I could see that. Pretty sure he at least brings in enough money to keep that little gold digger bitch happy though.
Hey, THC, on a more important matter...did you get the Jimmys rolled for the car ride?
THC flashed a look to Dank that said “of course” and Dank smiled back.
My baby knows how to keep the Dank Man the happiest man on the planet.
Yeah, maybe your partner Jonny C needs to find a woman to make him happy.
Oh, that guy? As far as I am concerned Jonny C is just a little angry that he wasn’t able to win the Canadian Championship from John Cavanagh a few shows ago.
I get how that could drive a guy nuts.
That and, honestly, he could also use a couple of fat Jimmys to calm himself. He might actually be more angry than John Cavanagh...at least right now he seems that way.Jonny C just needs to learn how to chillax a little bit. The guy is obviously salty about some things, no sweat off of my back. Jonny C just need to understand that the Dankster has been around the block, I’ve proven myself a bit in the eyes of this promotion and obviously he hasn’t yet.
Babe, don’t sound so stuck up like that. Would you say that about me if I got in the ring?
No, but you’re not trying to put down your partner. I don’t know if Jonny knows this but we have to work together to get through this match. I can’t even help the guy medicate himself. He acts like I’m such a bad guy, doesn’t he get that the Dankster is all about good vibes? I haven’t done anything to that guy. I’m not angry that Mac Dunney made a triple threat match. I wouldn’t have been made if it was a singles match either. No matter it was me or Jonny getting that singles match. No reason to let that kind of shit stress you, guy really should try a little bit of the lovely lady, maybe he will finally relax. I’ve never felt so much hostility from partners and I’ve had to team with some Lou Natics in the past.
Dank laughed but THC didn’t.
Babe, that was corny as fuck.
Oh well, the Dank Man can’t always bring the fire…unless we’re talking about that Mary or that in ring action. That’s the other thing, Jonny doesn’t even see what the Dankest Man in the Business brings to the table. He’s just so far gone off the deep end. I’m afraid he’s going to do something crazy like brain all of us with chair shots before the bell even rings.
I don’t think he’s that unstable babe, don’t make excuses.
I’m not making excuses. I’m just pointing out the flaws of our team. I can try and be a team, I can try and win this match but how are we going to win if this guy is going to go AWOL on me?
THC shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe he is all talk like The Celtic Club seems to think. I don’t know though, I think they’re full of it just like their leader but that’s a story for another day. I think its more important I focus on Trigger and Andy instead of John. Let Jonny be the one on the team who refuses to cooperate and fights with emotion…I’ll be the levelheaded one that makes sure the ship steers clear of one of those two icebergs on the opposite side of the ring.
You’re always the levelheaded one.
It comes with the territory of being constantly lifted babe, you know that. Baby, I know I’m not usually negative but I think I’m going to have to spend most of my time trying to survive in this match because when both of your opponents and your partner all hate you its a problem. Then again, Jonny seems to hate them more than me and they seem to hate Jonny more than me. Maybe I’ll find a way to use that to my advantage. Maybe I let Jonny be macho man and wear himself out while doing some damage and the levelheaded Dankster comes in to save the day and pick up the win for our team. Hmmmmm….the shit that I’m going to have to go to April Annihilation. I can’t believe this crap, I really can’t babe.
THC reached into her bag and grabbed a joint and lighter. She lit the lighter and Dank smiled.
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Apr 22, 2021 17:00:13 GMT
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Apr 22, 2021 17:00:13 GMT